Sometimes, But

Sometimes I wish I didn't have children (Not because I don't love them I do Wholeheartedly Ridiculously Almost to a fault) Because I'm tired of letting them down. And without children I'd be permitted to leave This place This mind This... With a snap of finger Or a twig Or a neck. But I have children And I know they'd wonder And ask why And replay, And replay, And replay. Yet I'm so afraid Of continuing to disappoint them And myself And of knowing that if I ever think That I'd do less damage to them gone Than being present... Snap.