Something Old Something New

Original poem posted Aug. 3, 2021 for Charles Messina's Contest: When I Let One Loose in the Elevator (for those who do not know, SBD means "Silent But Deadly") When I let one loose in the elevator, so silent was it that nobody knew among all the folks stuck on that lift from whose bottom that humdinger flew. Folks looked at their feet; no one's eyes did they meet. With some others, I got off the lift although my floor I had not even reached! Those still going up were left with my SBD gift. The line requirement was too limiting, so I always wanted to create a longer version, so this is what I came up with NEW version): In a crowded elevator I was stuck; feeling gassy, I thought, "What the 'l'uck!" For a woman now older than sixty, I can barely hold my own pee pee. How I tried to hold in all that gas. The feeling, however, just would not pass. To let it loose became a must. Surprisingly, there was no gust. It came out sneaky like a ninja. You did that before now, didn't ya? It was a silent fart yet deadly - humdinger type called SBD. So silent that nobody knew from which person’s bottom that it flew. People awkwardly looked at their feet and nobody's eyes did they meet. Though I needed to reach the top floor, I got off with a group at floor four. The stench lingered where I HAD been like some unforgiveable sin. I doubt they had known it was me. Up the stairwell I now could flee - up to my floor! Those left in the lift got to stay with the whiff of my "gift." Oct. 13, 2021 For John Lawless' Something Old Something New Contest