Somber Clouds

Clouds had gathered, air was mild
We climbed steep rocks among the wild
There, hidden so high beneath the trees
Were two marked graves among the leaves

We climbed steep rocks among the wild
This lonely place so long forsaken
Were two marked graves, among the leaves
Ingraved were the names of those who died

This lonely place so long forsaken
Timeless heartache rekindles once more
Ingraved were the names of those who died
Awakening my grief, as tears fell

Timeless heartache rekindles once more
Who was this mother, who was this child?
Awakening my grief, as tears fell
Birds are singing with bitter cries

Who was this mother, who was this child?
Skies sprinkle the earth with memory
Birds are singing with bitter cries
Clouds had gathered air was mild





......................................................................
Submitted for Jared's Pantoum Contest
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Augustus Avatar
August 13, 2009 at 2:09 PM
This sounds like a very old poem that has already been in a book for years, if not centuries. Congratulations on your win.
Strand Avatar
August 12, 2009 at 12:28 AM
Congrats on your success in Matt's contest Carrie.Rgds Brian
Johnson Avatar
August 11, 2009 at 1:08 PM
Congratulations Carrie. A well done poem worthy of a win. Love Joyce
Smith-Johnsen Avatar
August 11, 2009 at 5:22 AM
Contratulations, Carrie, for your honorable mention in the New Terrains Contest. It is a well deserved recognition. Keep writing! (I think I'm going to try this form... ) Very nice! Lovingly, Dane Smith-Johnsen
Jordan Avatar
August 10, 2009 at 11:22 PM
Carrie congrats on placing in Matts contest, YF4L, MJ
Rider Avatar
August 10, 2009 at 10:25 PM
Congratulations on your wonderful win! ~Trudy~
Strand Avatar
July 26, 2009 at 12:43 AM
Thank you for your welcome blog comments today Carrie.Rgds Brian
Keogh Jr. Avatar
July 25, 2009 at 12:37 PM
This is really very good. This has a sensitive nature that I truly lack. You should be proud of this one, Miss cArrie. Thank you for your comments on my contest entry. Regards, Gerard.
Strand Avatar
July 25, 2009 at 2:19 AM
Best wishes with this one Carrie.Thank you for your kind words and comments on my endeavours.Rgds Brian
Foster Avatar
July 25, 2009 at 2:11 AM
This ia a very moving piece, captivating imagery, somber tone, excellent meter, form and figurative language flowing throughout. Thank you for sharing such a fine heaartfelt read. Goof Luck in the contest :-) God's Love, always, Adell
Goff Avatar
July 24, 2009 at 4:26 AM
oh, Carrie, how do you do it? this poem just clings to my heart....I have to work now, but will be aboard this weekend, this poem is one of the best poems I have ever seen...yimmy
Devonshire Avatar
July 23, 2009 at 7:37 PM
Magnificent writing, Carrie! You create a solemn, somewhat sorrowful mood as one would expect when passing graves. Not too long ago I visited a Civil War soldiers' cemetery and look at the dates it was heartbreaking to see how young some of them were when they died. You must have had similar feelings seeing "a mother's childlay be her side." Wonderful poem! Love, Carolyn
Rider Avatar
July 23, 2009 at 6:56 PM
Beautifully written, Carrie. I had to look up this form of poetry, and it is intriguing. Yours is longer than the example, but that is the freedom of the poet...great job. Good luck in the contest! ~Trudy~
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