Somber Clouds

Clouds had gathered, air was mild
We climbed steep rocks among the wild
There, hidden so high beneath the trees
Were two marked graves among the leaves

We climbed steep rocks among the wild
This lonely place so long forsaken
Were two marked graves, among the leaves
Ingraved were the names of those who died

This lonely place so long forsaken
Timeless heartache rekindles once more
Ingraved were the names of those who died
Awakening my grief, as tears fell

Timeless heartache rekindles once more
Who was this mother, who was this child?
Awakening my grief, as tears fell
Birds are singing with bitter cries

Who was this mother, who was this child?
Skies sprinkle the earth with memory
Birds are singing with bitter cries
Clouds had gathered air was mild





......................................................................
Submitted for Jared's Pantoum Contest

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009



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Date: 8/13/2009 2:09:00 PM
This sounds like a very old poem that has already been in a book for years, if not centuries. Congratulations on your win.
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Date: 8/12/2009 12:28:00 AM
Congrats on your success in Matt's contest Carrie.Rgds Brian
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Date: 8/11/2009 1:08:00 PM
Congratulations Carrie. A well done poem worthy of a win. Love Joyce
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Date: 8/11/2009 5:22:00 AM
Contratulations, Carrie, for your honorable mention in the New Terrains Contest. It is a well deserved recognition. Keep writing! (I think I'm going to try this form... ) Very nice! Lovingly, Dane Smith-Johnsen
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Date: 8/10/2009 11:22:00 PM
Carrie congrats on placing in Matts contest, YF4L, MJ
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Date: 8/10/2009 10:25:00 PM
Congratulations on your wonderful win! ~Trudy~
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Date: 7/26/2009 12:43:00 AM
Thank you for your welcome blog comments today Carrie.Rgds Brian
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Date: 7/25/2009 12:37:00 PM
This is really very good. This has a sensitive nature that I truly lack. You should be proud of this one, Miss cArrie. Thank you for your comments on my contest entry. Regards, Gerard.
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Date: 7/25/2009 2:19:00 AM
Best wishes with this one Carrie.Thank you for your kind words and comments on my endeavours.Rgds Brian
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Date: 7/25/2009 2:11:00 AM
This ia a very moving piece, captivating imagery, somber tone, excellent meter, form and figurative language flowing throughout. Thank you for sharing such a fine heaartfelt read. Goof Luck in the contest :-) God's Love, always, Adell
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Date: 7/24/2009 4:26:00 AM
oh, Carrie, how do you do it? this poem just clings to my heart....I have to work now, but will be aboard this weekend, this poem is one of the best poems I have ever seen...yimmy
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Date: 7/23/2009 7:37:00 PM
Magnificent writing, Carrie! You create a solemn, somewhat sorrowful mood as one would expect when passing graves. Not too long ago I visited a Civil War soldiers' cemetery and look at the dates it was heartbreaking to see how young some of them were when they died. You must have had similar feelings seeing "a mother's childlay be her side." Wonderful poem! Love, Carolyn
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Date: 7/23/2009 6:56:00 PM
Beautifully written, Carrie. I had to look up this form of poetry, and it is intriguing. Yours is longer than the example, but that is the freedom of the poet...great job. Good luck in the contest! ~Trudy~
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