Soda Popinski

I drink a hundred sodas each day and I have a disease. One of my legs was amputated because I have diabetes. The doctor took my leg because I drink so much soda. I punched that S.O.B. so hard that I put him in a coma. I drink so much soda pop that I was renamed Soda Popinski. I was a boxer who sent people to the ER when they fought me. I was originally called Vodka Drunkenski and I drank a lot of liquor. Nintendo changed my name and made me drink soda so parents wouldn't bicker. I've become a has been because I can no longer have prize-fights. Little Mac knocked me on my butt even though I'm twice his height. I laughed when I saw Mac but he was the only one who could defeat me. I'm a laughing stock in Russia because a 107 pound weakling beat me. I was once a great prize-fighter, I was the best. Now I want to be shot because I'm so depressed. (This poem was inspired by the Punch-Out game which was made by Nintendo.)