So Let It Be

I don’t answer

Intensely personal questions people ask
For these shreds to pieces what is truly me
The pieces are of no use to them though.
The effort seems to stem from veiled envy 
Incisive curiosity or even subtle insult.
I am forced to uncover and introspect
Ask myself why I’m under the prying lens
For my life’s energy dissipates reorganizing
The dislodged pieces in place once again.

I don’t react

When caustic comments people make
On the manner I behave seems odd to them
Or on the way I do or don’t do things
For them when they ask or even for myself
For these are innate traits I am born with
Discarding or changing which for their sake
Or walk on their footsteps they set would be
To dispense with a vital part of my psyche
And to exist as a void entity of no identity. 

I don’t demonstrate

The feeling of appreciation articulately enough
If people do something good to me sometimes
For that action appears an expression overdone
Deceptively laden with fake display of gratitude
Which in essence hides the tacit expectation
That the good done is what is deserved and due.
When for this trait people criticize my insensitivity
A part of my mind inherently obliged though
Is tortured to premature and painful demise
I can’t endure for I don’t deserve the treatment 
And they aim to maim part of my bruised persona
I can’t rejuvenate for it does no longer respond.

People say
I have gone or going mad.
I tell them, yes, I’m quirky 
If self-preservation makes one so.
That’s why I am alive still
As a mad man at my will.

I say to me 
So let it be.

February 6, 2018.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Gentry Avatar
April 22, 2018 at 1:28 PM
Congratulations on your win. I enjoyed reading about your explanation of yourself, quirkiness and all. I find your self awareness goes deeper than that of most people I encounter. That is a refreshing thing.
Sinha-Roy Avatar
April 22, 2018 at 11:42 PM
Thank you so much, Susan for your comments.
Gupta Avatar
April 21, 2018 at 11:09 PM
A nice write about the dynamics of the Freudian unconscious ... Congratulations on your excellent win ...
Sinha-Roy Avatar
April 22, 2018 at 1:33 AM
Thank you so much.
Roper Avatar
April 21, 2018 at 8:31 PM
Wonderful write, Subimal, congratulations on your win! Hugs Eve ~`*
Sinha-Roy Avatar
April 21, 2018 at 11:01 PM
Thank you, Eve.
Gauthier Avatar
April 21, 2018 at 7:44 PM
How wise beyond your years you are, Subimal. These are things I sense but have never put into words and yet, you are primed with a strategy to counteract. What strength I would like to cultivate. A brilliant write. A FAVE for me.
Sinha-Roy Avatar
April 21, 2018 at 11:00 PM
Thank you, Line for your nice comments. In life we have to take a stand sometimes, maybe always.
Haight Avatar
April 21, 2018 at 7:13 PM
Our quirks make us who we are, Subimal. I enjoyed your poem and congratulate you on your podium win. Hugs, Sandra
Sinha-Roy Avatar
April 21, 2018 at 10:59 PM
Thank you, Sandra for your visit and for your appreciation.
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