Snookered

When ‘He’ decides to destroy one and all I’ll spend my last day in this old snooker hall My cue in one hand and a beer in the other I’ll play my last game with my dad and my brother * ’twas a speck in the sky that the eye couldn’t see Though hubble sent images regularly Communiqués transmitted so secretly The news wasn’t fit for the ‘you’ or the ‘me’ Of course there were figures and charts and statistics And scientists all stood around eating biscuits A sceptical man said this quiche is so good In sixty days no man would stand where he stood The chances of anything impacting earth Would make any advocate subject to mirth Thus all of the sums were checked over and over Then someone said, ‘Should we evacuate Dover?’ The truth was that Dover would soon be a crater And everywhere else would go mere seconds later So a man tucked away in a basement at NASA Emailed a contact based outside Mombasa Where no-one suspected the waste that passed through Was a screen for a nuclear silo… or two But rockets were readied with warheads in place So Earth wouldn’t disappear without a trace But Russia said, ‘Het!’ and china said, ‘Bù! Because we mistrust what the west plans to do. For once your nukes fly then some tiny detours Could wreak holy havoc on all of our shores. The data you quote is essentially flawed And China and Russia shall not be ignored So launch at your peril if you think you must We shall counter strike: in this you can trust.’ The speck in the sky is now seen in the day But no missiles, ever, were sent on their way And churches now welcome the agnostic stray Some seek new guidance and some even pray The speck in the sky to the unaided eye Looks strangely like it might simply pass by It’s far larger now with a visible tail Approaching unchallenged, as diplomats fail Just one day remains until earth’s final tune Plays out to the light of its final full moon Our nemesis nearing earth’s lone satellite Four hours ’til impact and then it’s, ‘Goodnight.’ * Well that was last week and the detail you seek Was divine intervention… so to speak Some nations were lost and no longer about When their tides came in and didn’t go out And nine fractured rocks light a new blessed sky From a near Earth encounter that saved you and I Someone at NASA, a half baked buffoon Perhaps should have factored the path of the moon Which saved life on Earth, ’though not one and all By hitting that rock like a stellar cue-ball * Our nine newborn moonlets, now orbiting Earth Are circled by rocks that had shared the same birth Many rained down, and the largest of all Ironically flattened my old snooker hall