Sinking

you can feel the tension and the utter chaos in this beautiful sad place you can feel the panicked ripples in the water and the thunder that rumbles throughout your skin a boat sailing all alone on the black water, so close to sinking barely holding up and everything is closing in on you and you can barely breath and you don't think you'll ever be okay again you can feel that there is someone close to you that could help you in an instant if they wanted to but they won't because you are all on your own. they would tell you to take a deep breath and calm down but how can you take a deep breath if you can't breath? you don't know what to do and all you can think of is just getting out of here But you don't know how and why will no one help you? you just know deep inside of you that everyone is laughing at you and everything is making you want to cry and you're so frustrated because they don't understand and you don't understand why they can't and you just want to stop yourself sinking, hoping that maybe if you swim hard enough you can save yourself but you feel like you're too worthless, not good enough, not even worth saving what would be the point of saving yourself, you wonder, if you're only going to keep sinking?