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Inexpert at rhyme 
or singing in time
I bray like a laryngitic donkey
my artwork's inept 
I'm ham-fisted except
when doodling things that are wonky

Of style I'm bereft 
my feet are both left
splayed in an opposite direction;
'tis little wonder
I blindfully blunder
into despair and abject dejection

My mind is a bog 
of gunk and cheap grog
my gray matter's shrinking, I fear
today is a haze 
yesterday a maze
and everything's clearly unclear

My dress sense is eish 
and fits not my niche
nor do my shorts, come to that
my flip-flops are worn 
my t-shirts all torn
one boob is fat, one is flat!

Despite many a flaw
I'm not an eyesore
though ungainly and lacking in style
with my stunning good looks
I easily hooked
your soon-to-be-ex with my smile

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

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Date: 11/26/2013 7:12:00 AM
congrats! cheers !
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Date: 11/25/2013 11:08:00 PM
Licia, Congratulations :-) for your nice win.... Thank you for considering my contest. Good Night ~ Linda ~
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Date: 11/13/2013 8:48:00 AM
Well, a lady that knows herself and has accepted it! A great achievement to reach that level of self-knowledge and self-confidence that little matters what others think. However, beneath the concrete exterior my eye spies a...soft interior!
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Date: 11/1/2013 12:34:00 AM
love this one. I had read it recently and enjoying it again . btw, do you think it would be ok to use Wounded Thunder in that native american contest? I honestly don't know how to write of things I know little of and at least I can do humor,but I know some native americans are sensitive and I don't want to offend anyone. maybe I will enter it. I have a really good serious one but it's an oldie here at Soup and probably she wants a new entry!
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Date: 9/20/2013 2:49:00 AM
I had a laugh with this one. Amazing!
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Date: 8/9/2013 5:14:00 PM
you are awesome, that's what you are. I think I have seen all your poems, sweetie!!!
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Date: 7/30/2013 9:21:00 PM
What a fun witty poem. I haven't been on poetry soup for some time. I love your style. I'm glad I got to read this poem.
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Date: 7/25/2013 7:34:00 PM
I was searching for my comment on this, I rem reading it before. Anyway, my favourite part of this write is, all of it lol. You certainly know how to sell yourself Licia lol. Take care, Richard
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Date: 6/2/2013 3:50:00 PM
this is charming and absolutely delightful! funny ending, too! congrats on your win...
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Date: 6/1/2013 2:05:00 PM
Congratulations, with the poem and thoughts about YOU. LOVE ~SKAT~
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Date: 5/3/2013 11:22:00 AM
Your soon-to-be-ex... you're quite the devious one! I appreciate your boldness and how you don't pull any punches... but just show us the real YOU! Everything's perfectly clear that you have naught to fear... you are just simply being yourself. Even if that means you are times obscene and prank like one of Santa's bad elves.... he he he... couldn't resist.
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Date: 4/25/2013 7:40:00 AM
You have such a way with words, my dear! How do you do it? This was so entertaining....especially the boob part! ;) HA HA! Good one, my dear! Good one!
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Date: 4/23/2013 4:57:00 PM
Enjoyed again...congratulations
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Date: 4/22/2013 11:17:00 AM
Ouch... Witty and interesting write. Congratulations on the win.
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Date: 4/21/2013 8:12:00 AM
What a witty poem! This one made me smile. Congrats on your win!
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Date: 4/20/2013 3:03:00 PM
congrats on your winning fave poem, witty, flows so well, clever punch-line at the end :)
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Date: 4/20/2013 7:33:00 AM
Congratulations, Licia. Always a very funny poem. Great win.-Red
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Date: 4/20/2013 7:11:00 AM
Very clever.....:-) congratulations
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Date: 4/20/2013 6:19:00 AM
very nice write Delysia......congrats on your win....I like the ending...
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Date: 4/19/2013 9:37:00 PM
congrats "
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Date: 4/19/2013 8:31:00 PM
Delysia, a sweet win~*~SKAT
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Date: 4/19/2013 8:07:00 PM
Many congrats my dear friend Delysia! This is indeed great and amazing ! I love it & so enjoyed. Thank you so much for sharing and the smiles here! Have a grace-filled day! Love and hugs, Leonora
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Date: 3/11/2013 4:57:00 AM
Wow!!- Red
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Date: 8/30/2012 10:12:00 AM
just reading a poem from your early postings, this is a gem, delysia, will come back agian.
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Date: 7/20/2011 4:44:00 AM
This is just too funny. Love the rhyme and rhythm and oh that imagery. This is great my friend. God Bless, JB
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