Shrapnel

Am I the explosion or the explosive? Am I a part of the living or part of the dead? Does it really matter, if I breathe or dont, It doesn't make a difference , I don't believe in the ripple effect . Like a grenade, compact and lean. With a missing pin , in a battlefield. I will explode , this second , maybe the next. If not now maybe then. Time is endless , seconds , minutes , hours. But death is immortal , so much so even time bends. When I explode , what will remain , Just shrapnel , and maybe some pain. What difference does it make , When to death you have been sold either way. Every second of every day , like a timed bomb ticking away If not now , maybe then. So if I surrender , does that make a coward. Does it mean I'm weak , or strong enough to know what hovers. I don't want to be immortalized , or remembered. I don't mind being forgotten , not even noticed . Because no matter the admirers , the lovers and their memories, Death will come so why waste in pain. If not now , maybe then. Amanda Miller