Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Shooting the Poop

Jan Allison | + Follow Poet |

Shooting the Poop

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Jan Allison.

A seagull’s just messed on my car poop splattered the windscreen so far it obscured my view wet white slimy pooh that seagull needs the abattoir! To remove that horrible slurry I leapt out my car in a hurry and wiped the poop off with an old washcloth - clean windscreen, but seagulls should worry To prevent seagulls having fun I’m fitting a huge machine gun if one poops on my car then I’ll shoot from afar and seagulls will be on the run! Contest Any animal or creature Limerick Sponsor by Charles Messina NO SEAGULLS WERE INJURED IN THE WRITING IN THIS FICTIONAL POEM 8/31/18

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Subimal Sinha-Roy

Date: 9/13/2018 11:45:00 PM

Congratulations on your fine win. Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/25/2018 4:11:00 AM

Thanks so much Subimal:-) so sorry for the delay:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 9/13/2018 3:26:00 PM

Cute string of lims, Jan. BIG congrats on your win.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/25/2018 4:11:00 AM

Thanks so much Andrea:-) so sorry for the delay in replying:-) hugs Jan xx

Line Gauthier

Date: 9/12/2018 10:25:00 PM

Good luck with that, Jan. Congrats on your win.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/25/2018 4:09:00 AM

Thanks so much Line:-) so sorry for the delay:-) hugs Jan xx

Sara Kendrick

Date: 9/12/2018 6:18:00 PM

Good one. We had a seagull to do that to our truck as we were crossing a bridge over a bay very dangerous time to not be able to see. Congrats on your winning work.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/25/2018 4:09:00 AM

Ugh seagulls we have so many of them on our little Island, they wreak havoc:-( hugs Jan xx

Dean Wood

Date: 9/12/2018 4:19:00 PM

Really Jan? More poop? hehe Another fun write.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/25/2018 4:08:00 AM

Thanks so much Dean - yes I write a lot of poop lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Curtis Moorman

Date: 9/12/2018 11:21:00 AM

Jan, what a great write. I have a spot on my windshield as of this morning so I know the feeling. Congrats on your 1st place win. See Soup Mail

Jan Allison
Date: 11/25/2018 4:08:00 AM

Thanks so much Curtis:-) hugs Jan xx

Charles Messina

Date: 9/12/2018 10:14:00 AM

LOL Jan, this reminded me of a commercial I saw, there are three pidgeons on a telephone wire and one says fire down below...Great limerick. Congratulations on your top win...Hugs // Charlie xx

Jan Allison
Date: 11/25/2018 4:07:00 AM

Thanks so much Charlie :-) so sorry for the delay I must have been away in the UK when the contest was judged-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 9/3/2018 5:47:00 PM

Ha-ha, Jan. They're already moving away from the shore of the Isle of Man. I wonder where they'll find refuge. They'd better not try Hungary... Maybe Merkel in Germany.. LOL. Good luck in the contest with this fun-funny one! ~ gw

Jan Allison
Date: 9/3/2018 6:42:00 PM

ha ha ha they sure can poop on folk from on high:-) hugs Jan xx

Pandita Sietesantos

Date: 9/1/2018 4:42:00 PM

Hahaha - my friend, you have such a rich sense of humour! I can always count on your witty Limericks to give me a good bellyful of laughter! Thank you for this gem! Hugs and laughter. Pandita

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 5:02:00 PM

I know I have a silly sense of humour but we need for laughter in our lives!:-) hugs Jan xx

M. L. Kiser

Date: 9/1/2018 2:49:00 PM

Another excellent laugh!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 4:24:00 PM

thanks ML:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 9/1/2018 10:08:00 AM

Good one Jan, I have known sea gull droppings to land on people's heads!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 4:23:00 PM

oh me too Tania, in fact it happened to me many years ago:-( hugs Jan xx

Freddie Robinson Jr.

Date: 9/1/2018 10:02:00 AM

This funny poem put a big smile on my face, Jan. And of course, we PSoupers know that no harm was done to any innocent animals in the making of this hilarious poem. Love and joy always.

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 4:23:00 PM

Thanks Freddie, I've only just seen this comment but I have amended the title of the farty poem - we are poetry twins for sure lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Freddie Robinson Jr.
Date: 9/1/2018 10:04:00 AM

Btw ... I wished you woulda used your title "Silent But Deadly" for your farty poem. We coulda been twins for a day. Cool poem. Love and more love always.

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 9/1/2018 12:32:00 AM

G'day Jan … seagulls and rock doves. I'm sure when they spot a car they see a target and that's when they really 'spot' it - it seems to end up being a poop convention - thanks Jan - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 2:39:00 AM

Wish they had nappies for their crappies lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 8/31/2018 8:50:00 PM

Your poem left me laughing Jan. I hate parking under a cool shade tree and when I get back from shopping it is polka dot! A fun Limerick written with your wonderful sense of humor my friend. Thank you for the cheer! : )

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 2:35:00 AM

I just get these silly ideas and woosh a poem appears:-) hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 8/31/2018 7:12:00 PM

I want to be there to watch you mount that machine gun, and then I want to ride with you down a freeway and watch people trying to drive off exits to get away from us! Jan, your poem slays me with happy!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 2:34:00 AM

ha ha ha:-) hugs Jan xx

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 8/31/2018 6:50:00 PM

Hello Jan, seagulls will poop anywhere on anything wherever I had surgery on my toe now walking with a cane for awhile. Have a nice evening my friend.

Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 9/2/2018 1:35:00 PM

I am doing alright. walking with a cane. Go to the doctor on Tuesday. Have anice day my friend.

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 2:34:00 AM

Hope all is good with you now Darlene:-) :-) hugs jan xx

Jerry T Curtis

Date: 8/31/2018 5:23:00 PM

They love black cars-----I know

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 2:33:00 AM

forget the colour they love any cars lol:-) hugs jan xx

Rico Leffanta

Date: 8/31/2018 4:42:00 PM

One of the many great things about Hawai'i is: NO SEAGULLS! You could easily write another verse about the stench, couldn't you? You certainly have a knack for choosing the perfect illustration for your verses! Bonne chance! Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 2:33:00 AM

lol I may take up your idea after the contest, not sure if I can write one just now... I'm pooped lol:-) hugs jan xx

Jesse Rowe

Date: 8/31/2018 1:10:00 PM

OMG, that picture says it all. This was such a fun limerick to read. Good luck in the contest. I don't envy Charles' job in ranking these; the are so many great ones already.

Jan Allison
Date: 9/1/2018 2:32:00 AM

Thanks Jesse It will be a fun contest to judge!:-) hugs Jan xx

Jack Horne

Date: 8/31/2018 10:21:00 AM

LOL, I could picture this - thanks for a good chuckle

Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2018 10:22:00 AM

Grr at the pesky birds they sure can make a mess - even worse when they score a direct 'hit' on your head:-( hugs Jan xx

Chris Green

Date: 8/31/2018 9:58:00 AM

Ha! I hope your aim is good, those things need to find some place else to make a deposit. :) Funny Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2018 10:11:00 AM

They need to wear nappies!:-) hugs Jan xx

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 8/31/2018 9:58:00 AM

Lol! Love the clarification at the end there ;p Cute Lims! Good luck in the contest Jan :)) xomo!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2018 10:11:00 AM

Oh I had to cover my back as someone is bound to moan lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 8/31/2018 9:53:00 AM

Haha, bet that's a common problem for you Jan. Just back yesterday afternoon,I'm wrecked. Just in Cardiff meeting new arrival. Hope all's well. Tom. PS. Good luck

Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2018 10:13:00 AM

It's a real problem sometimes Tom, that said one day I was driving to work and one flew into the windscreen of the car in front and landed on my bonnet - on that day I would have preferred it was poop! Hope you had fun with the new arrival and my congrats 'grandad' hope the holiday was awesome too:-) hugs Jan xx