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Shoes On the Surface

haze pollutes my mind sinister gods bend my will lonely asphalt weeps

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John Freeman

Date: 9/16/2009 6:56:00 PM

If the situation described continues for any length of time, it will form a pothole in the asphalt of one's hwyway of life and continue to deteriorate one's life! "The Parasitic Seed" No step for a stepper, hun James, that was the main one in story flow. Sincerely, Moses, Thanks for comments.

Sara Kendrick

Date: 9/16/2009 4:44:00 AM

I could go in several directions with this one when I look at the title also. They(shoes) have a soul, tongue(which has to be laced), and eyes that hold things together. Keep writing. Sara

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 9/14/2009 4:42:00 AM

I enjoyed reading your heartfelt poetry today James. Thank you for sharing. Love, Carol

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 9/13/2009 3:58:00 AM

this is original,yet somehow rewflecting loniliness an pain,cries and weep,hidden by the shoes surface,by the smiles on the outside..i can relate to this senryu Jim...my heart goeas out and cry..wishing a better sunrise to my good friend--Charma

Raul Moreno

Date: 9/13/2009 2:20:00 AM

Great perspective James, love the the originality of this senryu...Raul

P Sheart

Date: 9/13/2009 2:18:00 AM

Hi James Wow! A brilliant Senryu. Sure gets me to thinking. Take care Love Light Truth Patricia

Yoni Dvorkis

Date: 9/12/2009 10:20:00 PM

very mysterious James, and bewildering I admit. Usually in this situation I project myself directly into the poem and see how it feels for me in there, letting the words resonate off of my own experience in an effort to piece it all together.

Jared Pickett

Date: 9/12/2009 8:56:00 PM

"Lonely asphalt weeps"... WOW......That is an awesome phrase.......WOW......:JP]

William Kershaw

Date: 9/12/2009 8:54:00 PM

Jim, this makes me wonder whether it is better to go barefoot (which I usually do) or wear shoes (of whatever type) to protect the world from my fragrant and callused toes and soles. Well done, my friend. Always, Will

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 9/12/2009 7:36:00 PM

Very original and quite deep. You're getting serious on us, James?? Like the way you told this from the perspective of "shoes on the surface" of the lonely asphalt. Love, Carolyn

Nadia Shahwan

Date: 9/12/2009 7:33:00 PM

Beautiful poem.