Notes About The Poem

For Craig Cornish's contest, Shizumanu Taiyo

The aim of this contest was to llisten to Diana Yukawa's performance at the film premier of Shizumano Taiyo.  A Japanese film about the a plane crash, which was the biggest loss of life of an individual crash in aviation history (520 died and only 4 survived).  Shizumanu Taiyo is loosely translated to "Never setting sun." 

Diana's mum was pregant with her when her father died in the plane crash.

I wrote song lyrics to go with the music below.  I did not put in the duration between gaps between my words and the performance of the video below.

 

Shizumano Taiyo


Beneath the setting sun, I search gently
In shadows cast by dreams of yesterday
where whispers of the wind sound heavenly
I dance beneath the stars that softly sway

Shizumanu taiyo, where is your light
With every note I play, I sense you near
Guide me through the darkness of the night
so, I can feel your warmth, forever here

Through echoes of the past, I search for meaning
In melodies that vibrate through my heart
Strings of time, leave a child dreaming
of love and loss that never truly part

Shizumanu taiyo, where is your light
With every note I play, I sense you near
Guide me through the darkness of the night
so, I can feel your warmth, forever here

In soft silence I recall your glory
Knowing through storms your embrace keeps me warm
With each chord I strike, I relive your story
Beneath the setting sun, our bond will form

Shizumanu taiyo, where is your light
With every note I play, I sense you near
Guide me through the darkness of the night
so, I can feel your warmth, forever here

As twilight calls and stars sparkle so clear
I'll play one last time with abiding grace
I know your eternal glow will appear
and one day I'll be blessed with your face

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024



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Date: 3/3/2024 11:24:00 AM
Mr. Silence (glad you're not!), this perhaps one that stuck closest to the melody (you of little confidence with meter)--yet nailed it in both message and theme!
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Silent One
Date: 3/3/2024 11:49:00 AM
That is a wonderful compliment.. Thank you
Cornish Avatar
Craig Cornish
Date: 3/3/2024 11:39:00 AM
SO - that is, after all, music? Yes! For the most part Nearly flawless iambic pentameter - it's truly amazing how it can flow when not prompted -- sort of like when being taught how to ride a bike when the person behind lets you go...yet your message flows within it as well - - which is dressing within the ride!
One Avatar
Silent One
Date: 3/3/2024 11:26:00 AM
Thank you, are you saying the meter was good? I did it whilst listening to the music...
Date: 3/3/2024 10:32:00 AM
Completely hypnotizing... a gesture of light pouring over the edges of a heart, music that keeps blessing, blessing forevermore. Love this so. Congrats, dear friend, much love and prayers, Gina
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Date: 3/3/2024 10:03:00 AM
“In soft silence I recall your glory Knowing through storms your embrace keeps me warm With each chord I strike, I relive your story Beneath the setting sun, our bond will form” The entire song/poem is breathtaking and beautifully written or composed! That’s why you are a first place winner! Congratulations! Well done!
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Date: 2/5/2024 4:23:00 PM
Very lovely, and I liked the refrain. A beautiful tribute.
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Date: 2/5/2024 10:33:00 AM
Dear Silent One, I must commend you on your remarkable poem. The profound sense of longing for acknowledgment is masterfully expressed in your eloquent verses. I am truly captivated by every aspect of your exceptional creation, and the harmonious accompaniment only adds to its ethereal beauty. Good luck in the contest, Silent One. Consider this piece a personal favorite of mine. Warm regards.
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Date: 2/5/2024 9:09:00 AM
Your poem has the very strong lament and quest for recognition phrased very beautifully. I commented on some other entrants for this contest that we are tied together in transportation infrastructure and that a safety failure by one party (Boeing in this case) damaged the lives of heirs of those killed in the crash. I have had the privilege to investigate some fatal accidents and have seen how awful this can be first hand. Each death is a terrible thing for those who suffer in the aftermath.
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Date: 2/5/2024 12:51:00 AM
simply wonderful poem, even with the uncomprehensible title, the musc is awesome, thanks poet
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Date: 2/5/2024 12:30:00 AM
Oh wow I love everything about your great poem, and the music is simply divine. Good luck in the contest S1. A fave for me...Hugs
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Date: 2/4/2024 10:37:00 PM
I went back and read it while she was playing ... the lyrics matched the note well. I think this entry will do well in the contest, Silent One. When I was young, I wrote song lyrics for a few bands, this is well written, my friend. Bravo! Have a pleasant week, Bill p.s. another FAV
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Date: 2/4/2024 5:24:00 PM
I have the utmost respect for you as a poetic force and talent! This is beautiful of course I love the rhyme content and energy within! Best wishes in the contest.
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Date: 2/4/2024 10:17:00 AM
You wrote this lyric so well for the melody. With rhymes too, which comes easy for you obviously, and depth of your lines that flow with longing and emotions to see and feel the warm presence of the father resting above, is so vividly described and expressed here. Youv really put yourself in her shoes and written something that would come from her heart: especially as you wrote “where is your light With every note I play, I sense you near Guide me through the darkness of the night” so touching
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Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 2/4/2024 10:19:00 AM
And i think you did make it flow with the melody, goes very well! And is soul hitting! And i must also highlight the imagery and alliterations so subtly flowing throughout! Pleasure reading your work as always. Best wishes for the contest
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