Shiver Me Timbers

I'll tell ye of me life as a pirate I knows ye sees me as some old codger But when I was a young'n matey I sailed 'neath the Jolly Roger! Oh, it's truth I be tellin' ye now 'N ye may think that I be a loon But I talk so rever'ntly 'bout me ship 'n Cap'n For in truth, 'E made us dance a lively tune. 'E wore a patch o'er one eye 'N had a hook where fingers grow. When we 'eard the thumpin' of 'Is peg leg on deck We knew some ship 'd be given up 'er cargo. We'd be a'squintin' 'ard at the 'orizon 'N 'Ed call for 'Is telescope to measure If the sail that we'd come upon Mightn't be a ship full o' a'rn kind o' treasure. Then we'd sail up nice 'n cozy A'fore 'Ed run up the bones on black. But by that time matey They could not withstand a'rn attack. "Shiver me timbers, All hands on deck!" , came 'Is shout For 'E was a Taker 'n ne'er a Giver. It's many a time me eyes 'd see 'Im Cuttin' out some poor soul's liver. Oh, some tried to fight, The foolish tried a runnin' But the Cap'n made well sure They'd get a'rn full broadside gunnin'. We'd jump o'cross the ratlines with daggers a'tween a'rn teeth Oft times we'd skewer the entire crew Then take 'ER plunder aboard a'rn vessel 'N sink t'othern down to Davey Jones...so thar'd behind be left no clue. Then the Cap'n set sail for Tortuga Thar be plenty of Rum 'n Women for us thar Ye still don't believe I was a pirate? All I can say is..."ARRRRRRRRRR"!