Shift of Balance

Skip me like a stone on water, While I test my buoyancy I float then sink, as I stop to think Of what would become of me The torrent drifts in endless shift Throw my body to the Waves For then I'm made to be its Gift, And pleased with what I gave

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 10/29/2013 9:27:00 PM

seaweed shrouds caress me now/ for them I've truly kissed/ and pleased were they I'd gifted ...first 6 lines are unrhymed then you cave, you can have metered verse with internal rhyme, without end rhyme then you'd have Ttaaadada BLANK VERSE Light & Love

Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 10/30/2013 5:01:00 AM

My process is organic and I do not pay attention to such things; the verses are born the way they are. I'm not sure if you're just being pedant or cheeky or what, but it feels like a barb. I apologized for the blog; can we just move on?

Vicky Tsiluma

Date: 8/22/2013 10:10:00 AM

Hi, thought provoking write this! It seeks to remind us that there are different paths to accomplishing a purpose, what you may think is your path may turn out not to be and you may be useful elsewhere. Well penned. ps, thanks for going through my poetry. I appreciate your advice on writing more rhyming poems(I tend to shy away from it as I cannot rhyme naturally).

Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 8/22/2013 10:50:00 AM

Thank you for stopping by and reviewing, Vicky. I enjoy reading people's different interpretations of what I write. Your kind words are much appreciated, and I sincerely encourage you to write more rhymes. This site and all its truly talented and creative people have given me courage to try different forms of poetry :)

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 8/21/2013 7:27:00 PM

Ive read this several times, and each time I get a bit of different perspective. I love the first line..wish Id thought of it..lol. BG

Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 8/22/2013 7:49:00 AM

Thank you for stopping by, Barbara. I enjoy the fact that you interpreted it in different ways; it lets me know you are a thoughtful reader, and that is much appreciated. I, too, enjoy that first line. And I know what you mean about wishing you'd thought of it: I've read many poems on here and have come across many beautiful verses I wish I had written.

Pace Ink-U-Script

Date: 8/21/2013 2:02:00 PM

I really love your work...you are very talented. Your words flow seamlessly!!!

Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 8/21/2013 2:30:00 PM

Thanks, Pace. I've been reviewing your work as well and have enjoyed everything I've read. You have inspiring talent! :)