She Loves Me She Loves Me Not

She loves me she loves me not I wish she'd make up her mind I keep telling her, that a man like me Is almost impossible to find I've told her how good looking I am And she says, "Yeah whatever you say" I say, "I know I am but I can't help it" And that God just made me that way I even tell her she's getting smarter But she'll never be as smart as me I think she understands what I'm saying She just stands there staring at me I try to tell her when she's getting fat You'd think she'd be a little grateful But no, she just starts calling me names And saying some things that are hateful I tell her when her cooking is bad But she simply can't handle the truth The last time I told her, she threw a plate And caused me to chip a tooth She loves me she loves me not The petals on this flower come true I keep telling her that I'm something special But she just doesn't see it,.... can you?