Helen Dymond Poet Free verse

She Can'T Bear It

WOMAN YOU ARE INFERTILE
what a mess
she can guess how poor old sarah felt before the angel relented and
implanted isaac
DONT WORRY DEAR he said WHAT'S FORTY YEARS OF PAIN?
YOU'RE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN

if she must be big fat she'd rather be
the sow with eighteen teats
kneedeep in 
rope-throated for the butcher's knife but still
smiling from ear to ear
as her teats are eighteen ways caressed
she a mere self and the sow
a goddess
yes
unfathomable karma of the squealing universe

BALLS said the angel LUDICROUS CONCEIT do you want your
legs spread and the guts pulled from you as a living head?
worry guilt potty training
teenage dropout drugs no gratitude
woman of the new millenium VEIL YOURSELF
in friendship sex career
be a man if you will
get therapy adopt the homeless THERE ARE FAR
he cried TOO MANY CHILDREN IN THE WORLD

what is she then
since her body has failed to repay?

only (as Lawrence gently said of Connie Chatterly) a thing of terrors
humiliation worse
far worse than immorality

there are sisters who exercise choice but she
is not one
her womb has her in thrall to its useless bloat and vomit
as the moon darkens her room
ovaries lie in her brain like unpicked fruit
even in sleep
imploding

SHE WANTS TO KILL THE CHILD WITHIN HER

how do you mothers
feel about that?

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Helen Dymond September 12, 2020 at 8:39 AM By the way, line 9 should be 'kneedeep in shit', somehow the word shit has got missed out.

Helen Dymond September 12, 2020 at 8:34 AM many thanks , Sigrid, I have never had such a positive response before, either to a poem of mine, or to writing about this personal tragedy in such a challenging way. I am so glad that you could accept the violent despair expressed in this poem. It was written before my menopause and nowadays I accept my fate and cherish it. Thank you again Helen Helen Dymond September 12, 2020 at 8:35 AM

Sigrid Ermine September 12, 2020 at 7:40 AM Helen, a captivating write. Off the wall, couragous way to tell the scenario. I thought to comment, before I read you final line imploring us to do so. I know the story (generally speaking) from both sides, desperate to have a child. It's horrible, consuming. I have made the contraversial decision, while being an active mother. It's a heavy topic. I've been involved with a family whose babe was born severely brain damaged. They wished 12 week scan had picked it up... Options are important.