Sharon's Tootsie Rolls

I kept them in the 'fridge In hopes to keep them fresh To send to my friend Sharon Our minds, they seem to mesh I prepared the envelope for me to mail (kind'a odd, cause I know not where she lives) I knew that I had promised, and I could not fail But much to my great surprise You should see my bulging eyes! Some weasel had stolen Sharon's candy I'd never be oh so randy So I bought 2 bags more And just to be real sure I hid them where I'd never expect they'd be I thought how clever I was, you see I rose the next day was amazed what I did see To find my chocolate stained fingers Oh no!! It can't be me!!! Sleep walk, now sleep-eating? Just how I could not figure What's next, a frozen steak? So once again I bought More Tootsie Rolls, and fought Any dream or thought Of stealing once again I tied my hands to the bed Barricaded the 'fridge real well I went to bed with crossed fingers And slept just like the dead Next morning I awoke With bittersweet tootsie Roll breath The 'fridge's door was ripped off And I swore upon my death I'd mail her money to buy Her very favorite treat And I'd be feeling better And everyone I would meet Would know I'm the candyman Now, ain't that kind'a sweet? My Tootsie Roll sleep-walks Will plague me once again I put tacks on the kitchen floor In case I get a yen Now my story's told And Sharon's dental bills will rise But when she sees her Tootsie Rolls.. There'll be quite a gleam in her eyes You've heard enough, I fancy And of this I am quite sure I hope never to see more candy And this ends my tale once more.