Setting Myself Free
I still see your smile
Though I haven't seen it in a while
Now that I have I feel some type of way
All it takes is a message one random day
You been gone from my life for so long
And now that you're here I doubt where I belong
It wasn't a problem before
Didn't think I cared anymore
Yet now I find you constantly on my mind
My own escape I cannot find
Lost in these streets full of direction
And for what…a little of your affection?
Wondering if it's all worth the pain
Knowing now nothing from it will I gain
Yet still thoughts of you won't leave me alone
No matter what I do to get them gone
Those thoughts run as deep as the ocean blue
But you still refuse to love me too
I try and find peace in the beauty of the land
Only to find it's you I don't understand
What more can one person do
I've done all I can to prove my love to you
But just as hard as the bricks I used
To protect a heart that had been so abused
It may have been able to keep the pain away
Yet still it's something I fight each and every day
Trying to tell myself I get a little stronger with time
Attempting to believe it's not just another rhyme
I take a second look only to see
That these words I write continue to remind me
Of a love I use to own
Night or day I could call you on the phone
But then as the next song begins to play
I feel a tear making its way
Down my once dry cheek
Once again when it comes to you I feel so weak
Unsure what all this might mean
Caught somewhere in between
Holding on to all those feelings for you
Or knowing that letting go is what I must do
I sit out by the water to blow off some steam
Watching as the water flows over the rocks and continues down stream
For a moment I manage to find some peace
Knowing that in time that feeling will cease
It helps to escape my thoughts even for a short while
With the sun shining bright I can't help but smile
Reminding myself that one day I will find my way
Even if I can't do it today
I guess you could say that missing you
Is something I've gotten rather used to
Though some days are easier than another
I find comfort in my mother
Though she can't be here to help me get thru
I remember what she once said about someone just like you
You were just one chapter in my life
And even if you didn’t make me your wife
Someone someday will see what you never did in me
In time I would find the man you couldn't be
In my heart I know just what she would say
And that helps me get thru another day
Without your love…without you
I know that like you I will be okay too
But down the road you will find it is me you miss
Every smile and every kiss
But by the time you do
I won't be there to come back to
Of that much I can be sure
Cuz a love that was once so pure
Has been stained with pain
Thoughts of you driving me insane
My heart deserves better than that
Late nights, sad songs, and there I sat
For so long thinking back to what used to be
Only to realize the truth was it was me
I was the only keeping me here
Because of you I was full of fear
Afraid someone might do the same as you
Terrified my heart would get broken by someone new
And I'd be just as hurt as I was before
But I can't live like that anymore
I have to find a way to move on
Your memories must be foregone
It's becoming more clear what it is I must do
Just had to find myself a new view
To realize all the possibilities out there
Had to take a step back and breath of fresh air
To see all the things I let escape me
But here and now I have set myself free
Ready to give love another try
And finally tell your memories goodbye
Can't believe how much better I feel
Never again my happiness will you steal
My thoughts, my feelings, my mind and my heart
All these things are ready for a new start
For once in my life they all agree
I finally set myself free!!!!
Copyright © Jennifer Griffith | Year Posted 2016
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