Notes About The Poem

April 6, 2025

~ Third Place ~
Premiere Contest: Pets
Sponsor: Rob Carmack

~ Second Place ~
Premiere Contest: 2025 Poetry Marathon Mile 5
Sponsor: Mark Toney

~ Eighth Place ~
Premiere Contest: Serpents, Scorpions, Owls
Sponsor: Sara Jama


 

Serpent’s Lair

How wicked the tricks of your serpent’s lair
a lingual place of wild mango magic behind caliente lips
where a supple sensualist lies in seductive ambush—
rum on the rocks spices the red bed of your taste buds
libation temptation whets my wish like a knife on stone
medieval my want to stir my tongue in your firewater

my fingers a captivated trellis 
jealous and zealous  carefree and careless 
find their way to getting lost in your midnight curls
S curves wind from devil depths to bind
aroused fingers— coiled accomplices hold me captive 
as I’m pulled in with potion-puncture fangs
piercing my heart deep   piercing my soul sweet 
eyes of winter blue skies belie your stealth
l i p s  heat-seek as you place your face to mine 
tongue flicks for a taste  ah flirts with lust-basted taste
yes  y e s s s  press your whispering mouth on mine

my mouth blooms like a dusk-loving moonflower 
throat white against night  my breath your honeysuckle
unholy hunger unleashed  a famished desperation 
my desperation so full of babydoll flame and ash
your jaw unhinges to swallow whole my fire and ire

oh bend me like a willow in the tongue-tie of your kiss
break me  take me  make me buy the bliss in your hiss
feed me fantasies I need to cede lace without chains 
as hush-winged-talons scythe bloodstreams of dreams
bleed me in the weed greed of your sidewinding river
‘til you shed my love the way a constrictor sheds skin

I crave to tame you  claim you  
make you my burlesque feather boa—
your lightning I’d capture 
and wear your glamour with rapture 
instead of being your convenience pet kept
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Callus Avatar
October 7, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Dear Susan, I am lost for words! You keep raising the bar with your unbridled talent. I have seen your 3 placings and I shake my head in bafflement :( This technically rich poem is spicy, sensually seductive, passionate, and capable of holding the reader captive throughout. ~ Warm regards and hugs my dear friend // paul
Ashley Avatar
October 15, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Dear Paul, my inspiring poet friend, I relish your uplifting thoughts! I’m so gratified to know know you thought so highly of this poem. Your poetic presence brightens my poetry page and makes my day! :) Thank you, dear friend. I hope all is well with you. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan
Poet Avatar
September 8, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Dear Ashley, As always, your diction in this great poem is dynamic and brimming with passion and excitement; it is very sensuous and luscious. I adore the way the personal, electrifying scenes blend with the visuals of snakes and wild mangoes. It immerses you in that thrilling, exhilarating sensation. Congratulations on your podium win.
Ashley Avatar
September 9, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Dear Lasaad, I'm both thrilled and honored to receive such beautiful praise from a poet I so greatly admire. That your felt immersed in my verse is truly gratifying to know. Thank you for sharing in the passionate imagery of this poem with me and for feeling the longing and excitement of this scenario. Your gracious comments and kind congrats are received with joy! Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Carmack Avatar
September 7, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Another unique angle. Thank you and congratulations.
Ashley Avatar
September 7, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Dear Rob, thank you for the honor of my poem’s placement in your esteemed contest. It’s a pleasure to receive your kind words of congrats and to share the podium with the gifted poets on your list. Your contest sponsorship is appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Dietrich Avatar
August 12, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Me thinks this is not just about an actual serpent. Great personification. Well done for second placement, Susan. Your poetry shines
Ashley Avatar
August 16, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Dear Andrea, no it’s not.. but I loved using the serpent imagery in creating this poem about a kiss, love, lust, the angst of desire.. you know the usual poetic stuff :) Thank you for your wonderful words. They are so gratifying to receive. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Daniels Avatar
August 10, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Powerful write, Susan ! Excellent use of vocab. Congrats. Xx.
Ashley Avatar
August 10, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Dear Ghairo, thank you for your wonderful visit and heartwarming words. Your kind congrats are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Toney Avatar
August 10, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Excellente! Caliente!! Brillante!!! Susan, congratulations on your second-place finish on Mile 5 of my 2025 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on, since Mile 6 has already started. You can find your overall standing in my Mile 5 blog post.
Ashley Avatar
August 10, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Dear Mark, your gracious comments are wonderful to receive whether in Spanish or English :) It's an honor for my poem to place in your esteemed contest and to share the podium with the gifted poets on your list. Thank you for doing such an 'excellente' job as the 'Marathon' contest sponsor.. you are a tireless judge, my poet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Godwin Avatar
August 10, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Man, I don't smoke but I sure want a cigarette, feel like rolling over and going to sleep, too, so limp now in the best possible way ....... Cussing-word spectacular - this is other-world superb, Susan. Oh, I'm out of breath. WOW and MORE plus Congratulations and Poetry hugs ... WOW ... CayCay WOW
Ashley Avatar
August 10, 2025 at 10:14 AM
Dear CayCay, that you want a cigarette after reading my poem, though you don't smoke, lol, is the best response to one of my poems e v e r!! I adore both your humor and your poetic heart. Your precious thoughts leave me breathless.. hopefully we can both catch our breaths :) Thank you for sharing in the imagery and emotion of this poem with me. Your comments and congrats are truly heartwarming and have me gratefully smiling, my dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Velasco Avatar
July 27, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Wow, this poem is so lush and sensual—the language is vivid and dripping with desire and tension. I love how the snake and wild mango imagery mix with the intimate, electric moments. It really pulls you into that intense, intoxicating experience.
Ashley Avatar
July 30, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Dear Rowena, I'm elated to receive your beautiful and insightful comments. I'm so glad to know that the imagery, intensity and intoxicating atmosphere of this poem resonated with you. That means a lot to me as your thoughts are treasured. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
George Avatar
April 20, 2025 at 9:18 PM
"l i p s heat-seeking as you place your face to mine tongue flicks for a taste ah flirts with lust-basted taste yes yesss press your whispering mouth on mine" ..... Wow, so sensuous and romantic.....dear Susan. I feel the fury of your longing to be in his coiled hold. "oh bend me like a willow in the tongue-tie of your kiss break me take me make me buy the bliss in your hiss". Another fire spitting image of desire. Only you can think of such metaphors on a topic like this. So very intense with images seething emotions of romance. Your alliterations add to the beauty of your highly metaphoric poem with rich sensory details and exploration of intimate and raw desire.. I salute you dear Susan for your awesome talent. Congratulations on your great win.
Ashley Avatar
April 26, 2025 at 10:05 AM
Dearest Valsa, soulful poetess and inspiring friend, I revel in your beautiful response to my poem. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts and kind congrats with me. They are highly valued and held in my deepest appreciation. Your poetry friendship enhances my creative experience here and your shining presence adds luster to my humble verse. I salute you, sweet Valsa, for your thoughtful expression in the comment box and for the fruition of exquisite artistry on your poetry pages. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Jama Avatar
April 10, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Congratulations on placing in my contest. What a wicked take on the prompt. I just love it. Your metaphorical expression is fantastic. I love how you took it sinisterly sensual. "oh bend me like a willow in the tongue-tie of your kiss break me take me make me buy the bliss in your hiss," fantastic.
Ashley Avatar
April 12, 2025 at 7:49 AM
Dear Sara, thank you for my poem's placement in your prestigious contest. I'm thrilled to share the podium with the talented poets on your list. I appreciate your uplifting critique and heartwarming congrats. Your contest prompt was wonderful and inspiring! I appreciated the opportunity to write for your contest. Glad to know you liked the 'willow' verse, it's one of my favorites too. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Empress Avatar
April 10, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Dear Susan, Talented soul, another exquisite write from your ink, youv woven words in such a creative manner, giving a sensual touch to your poem in such eloquence , with internal rhymes, alliterations, and unique metaphors that depicts romance in the most poetic cadence! I love "feed me fantasy I need to cede lace without chains as hush-winged-talons scythe bloodstreams of my dreams" how passionately intense! Pleasure reading your poem! Congratulations on your placement in saras contest
Ashley Avatar
April 12, 2025 at 7:55 AM
Dear Ink, soulful poet, I revel in your gracious visit and relish the embracing spirit of your beautiful comments. I'm touched by your heartwarming words and kind congrats, but mostly, I'm honored to share the podium with you. So happy to know you enjoyed my poem of passion! :) Warmest wishes to you, my inspiring poet friend.. ~Susan
Gifford Avatar
April 7, 2025 at 9:27 AM
Hello Susan, this is a beautifully written spicy romantic write. A great read. Wishing you a fabulous new week ahead, my friend.
Ashley Avatar
April 10, 2025 at 7:36 AM
Dear Zyrool, my creative poet friend, I'm happy to hear from you and to receive your heartwarming response to my poem. Thank you for your sharing your treasured thoughts with me. They are appreciated as is your friendship. I hope you're having a wonderful week, mine has been very busy, but in a 'good busy' kind of way:) Warmest wishes to you.. ~Susan
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace