Self Help
We'd awakened to soon reaching.
for respite keeping PTSD at bay
while anxiety attacks bicker with
my Narcolespy my focus remains.
steadfast on Traumatic Brain injury
allowing my cognitive activity to bravely
send signals to stretch my legs and arms.
I can feel a traumatic headache approaching.
but so is the time for my monthly nerve blocks.
injections twelve shots in my head in all
granting me sheer relief for thirty days
after the stream of pain forget me nots
wears off my mind goes back to the injury.
bruising my brain sullen matter awakens me.
I am quite shattered within the fight flight.
mode hunkered down in hidden nooks of sanity.
racing thoughts I sit up on the bed now.
in the quiet calm of the night tall egrets
walk by my window alert a family of fox's.
nose's pointed at the moon snow birds I suppose.
here just for a season just like my thoughts.
I chant and wonder if my brain would someday.
stop no more data to be found in this!
desperate state I began to write again.
providing me a kind of self-medication
if you will effortlessly removing my mind
from negative thoughts a real treasure
emerge as my alter ego actually becomes.
my muse in this finite moment the stars all
line up just so twinkles sending signals sparks.
waves of chemicals balancing sheer survival
of my brain hence survival of the mind
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