Self-Destruction

I seem to be in the mood for self-destruction -just following the example my brain sets as it slowly breaks itself apart- Let me procrastinate: on that application, on that project, on my writing stress myself out until I explode Let me degenerate into a smelly mess because I can’t will myself to act clean when my mind refuses to be clean Let me eat till I puke (Cause that’s what he tells me to do) even though I’m never hungry Let me wallow in emotions so deep so very strong so poignant I drown Let me be swallowed into myself Maybe someday I’ll come around again