Seeing You

Words unspoken lay between us. An open gulf, yawning abyss. You sit on the far side, as I remember the words that were. Then she comes and speaks aloud. She, wielder of permission to say that which I wish I could. She, who bridges and crosses, alone. She makes it easy to be around you. Jealousy given form, suppressed thought breathed to life. It’s easier to resent when I hear you laugh. I sit and watch you together. Allowed only to bask in reflected light, but casting no light of my own. It’s so easy to resent from a distance. I don’t have to try, and I don’t have to risk anything. And a distant vision of you is better than nothing at all.