Secrets With Vodka

This bottle of vodka has me ready to share my secrets I left my heart broke instead of trying to repair the pieces Anxiety makes me over think so the smallest issues seem insurmountable I make a lot of mistakes and hold myself accountable I hope I get a chance to over do my wrongs Never had a shoulder to cry on Just a pad to write on Growing up I never had a dad to rely on He wasn't there when I had my first crush or to teach me how to act on a first date Sitting in the children's home wishing he'd pick up the phone to wish me a happy birthday Most kids crave presents, but I craved my mum and dads presence My dad didn't tell me he loved me one time before he left the world to go to heaven He passed away 5 days before I turned 15 but I was used to him not being around He was one of the main reasons I had scars bleeding out Social workers told me I'd be dead by 21 because I was reckless Sleeping with girls and not staying for breakfast Not caring if they had boyfriends that made it better for me Because I got them in bed knowing they can't get together with me I'm 25 now I wasn't supposed to make it this far I've said too much, I wasn't supposed to take it this far Chantal I'll always miss you, and you'll always have a special place in my heart Pain I have to live with, I'm used to it so I don't bother trying to erase my scars When you come from a background of heartache, Pain, and betrayal it's hard to be positive But I'm real with my thoughts and share it all Because I'd rather bite the bullet than spend my life dodging it I won't lose hope of finding my way out of the maze even when i'm lost in it Depression had me in a chokehold, but I'll come out on top of it These are just a few reasons why my hearts broken, but I don't need to repair the pieces Sorry but this Vodka made me share my secrets