Santa Breaks the Union
*This was written as a novelty Christmas song, so feel free to sing along.
Santa Claus is trying to break our Union
but we won't go down without a fight.
So we've called a meeting of our brothers
and the Elfin Union chapter 3 meets on Friday night.
The rumor is Santa's hiring Zombies,
we're not sure when they might even start?
But it may have to do with Customs
and how many greeters stolen from Wal-Mart.
He complains we never meet our quotas
and we wander and meander in a trance.
He says hard work has never been fatal
but who the hell wants to take that chance.
The Man in red is trying to break our Union.
He thinks he's good but he's no Santa Claus.
Trying to take our pension and our healthcare.
And getting rid of all our precious labor laws.
Our work ethic has been challenged.
as we spend too much time with our coffee cups.
But we know the sooner we all fall behind,
we will have the time needed to catch up,
Santa says we have to work together.
one unit made of many Elves.
But we all know the value of teamwork
so you don't have to take all the blame yourself.
The Man in red is trying to break our Union.
He thinks he's good but he's no Santa Claus.
Trying to take our pension and our healthcare.
And getting rid of all our precious labor laws.
Now the meeting is called to order
and all our members do what's right.
We'll show that bleeping Santa
that even tortured Elves can go on strike.
Now we're walking on the picket line
and Santa's toy production will erode.
But the weather is rough and ugly
and I've lost all feeling in my elfin node.
The Man in red is trying to break our Union.
He thinks he's good but he's no Santa Claus.
Trying to take our pension and our healthcare.
And getting rid of all our precious labor laws.
Now there are Zombies in our workplace
and more pain will be our curse.
When the Zombies join with Lawyers
just to make our bad day even worse.
We finally left and settled in Seattle
where the twelve of us have found a loft.
But the job we have is nothing better
as we're now writing Python code for Microsoft.
Now Santa Claus has broke our Union.
He was tired of the sass and all our flaws.
But before we left we swiped his blue Viagra.
So good luck in trying to satisfy Mrs. Claus.
The End
*For those who are interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle'
on my homepage. A new one will appear every couple of days.
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