Santa and the Red-Headed Stepchild

Hey fat man in the little red suit All those little girls think your so cute But ive known the truth now since i was over three And caught you kissing Mommy under our christmas tree I heard whispers and moans and little passionate sighs Ya i saw that twinkle in your bloodshot eyes I crept over to your bag and peeked right in, I saw twenty bags of cookies And a bottle of gin Your were gettin busy with mom Goin all ho ho ho Then i saw my name On a lump of coal No little red wagon No G.I. Joe I screamed, "thats it fat boy" "you gotta go" He got dressed fast So lively and quick But first i swatted his ass With a red-hot poker stick Up high he jumped And went screaming into the night I said, " and dont come back" "until you get it right"