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Sand - Haiku

sandcastle grains of quartz sculpture surrender a ghost of past strength sand storm soft sands harmless until rallied by whipping winds rising in power Susan Ashley October 18, 2021 ~ Seventh Place ~ Premiere Contest: Lune (Mixed Pair) Sponsor: William Kekaula sandcastle Lune: (syllable based: 5-3-5; PS) sandstorm Lune: (word based: 3-5-3)

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Jim Slaughter

Date: 3/21/2024 11:02:00 AM

Brings back memories, Susan. I grew up in and around #2.

Susan Ashley
Date: 3/21/2024 11:20:00 AM

Dear Jim, thank you for your return visit. I'm glad my sand storm haiku brought back memories.. all happy I hope. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Jim Slaughter

Date: 1/19/2023 10:29:00 AM

Beautiful, Susan. The "sand storm" one is very reminiscent of my growing up in the desert of West Texas. How well I recall those "whipping winds".

Susan Ashley
Date: 1/22/2023 7:47:00 AM

Dear Jim, I can't imagine actually experiencing a sand storm.. it must be terrifying and surreal. Thank you for sharing your treasured thoughts with me. I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem. The desert of West Texas must be awesome in its wild beauty.. except for when the winds whip. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan

FJ Thomas

Date: 12/19/2022 4:34:00 PM

Lovely Susan! I cannot say I have ever read a poem simply on sand, so your title pulled me in lol! Two seemingly opposing strengths within the same matter. Amazing :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/23/2022 12:18:00 PM

Thank you for your gracious comments, FJ. Your visit is delightful and certainly appreciated. Warmest wishes for a wonderful, happy and healthy Holiday Season, my friend.. ~Susan

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 6/15/2022 11:00:00 AM

Your "Sand" is a lovely write. Making sandcastles are so much fun for all ages. Have a blessed day..................

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/15/2022 4:08:00 PM

Dear Paula, both your gracious visit and wonderful thoughts are truly appreciated. Sandcastles are always fun. Thank you, my lovely friend.. ~Susan

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 12/26/2021 1:58:00 PM

Congratulations on your win with these lovely descriptive haiku Susan. Haiku is a wonderful form not too many understand. Blessings xxoo

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/28/2021 9:51:00 AM

Dear Connie, your heartwarming congrats are received with my deepest appreciation. I'm so please to know you enjoyed these haiku.. I still struggle with them for haiku is a tricky little beast.. but when done right, a haiku is a precious little gem. I think my haiku are still in the cubic zirconia stage of development lol! Warmest wishes to you a for a happy new year, my lovely friend.. ~Susan

Nature Boy

Date: 11/30/2021 12:21:00 PM

Powerful words which made me pause and apply to my life as a driving force. Congratulations on your win :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/1/2021 10:03:00 AM

Dear Nature Boy, thank you for sharing your wonderful response to my poem with me. I'm so pleased this poem made you pause, that's a poet's quest I think. Your thoughts and kind congrats are received with gratitude. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Robert Lindley

Date: 11/29/2021 8:33:00 PM

That you constantly gift us with such gems is not surprise to we that can see your immense and golden poetic talents my dear friend! Another great fav for me and matters not the poetry form used, your poetry stirs heart and soul and gifts the reader so very much.. A fav... God bless..

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/1/2021 10:10:00 AM

My dear friend, I am ever moved by the inspiring and generous beauty of your comments. I am at once humbled and elated by your precious words, Robert, and by the grand honor of your fav. Your golden presence bestows the sun's shine upon my poetry and our poetic friendship, and I am filled with gratitude. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/1/2021 12:32:00 PM

gorgeous work and a well deserved win!

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2021 9:31:00 AM

Dear Andrea, your gracious visit and beautiful comments are a pleasure to receive. Thank you, my friend.. ~Susan

Paghunda Zahid

Date: 11/1/2021 10:40:00 AM

Back to congratulate you in this fine win

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2021 9:32:00 AM

My dear friend, Paghunda, thank you for your uplifting words. Your return visit and heartwarming congrats are both deeply appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paul Callus

Date: 10/29/2021 9:36:00 PM

Congratulations on your fine win, Susan. I like the opposing forces between the first and second haiku....a sandcastle brings to mind the gentle playfulness of children (although adult sand sculptures are not neglected!)....a powerful sandstorm can cause havoc. ~ Warm regards & Hugs, my friend. Happy weekend // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2021 9:40:00 AM

I treasure your thoughtful and beautiful response to my poem, Paul. Indeed, sandcastles enchant both children and adults, they are truly magical, while a sand storm is quite a different kind of magic, transformative in its havoc. Thank you for your golden presence, you always touch and inspire me and I am ever grateful. It's so wonderful to see you again, my dearest friend. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Sam Kauffman

Date: 10/29/2021 10:44:00 AM

My dearest Rhyme Time friend - back with congratulations and my deep admiration for this brilliant piece of inspiration! Sand was the motivation, and clarification, for writing Dawn and Dusk! The scope of your golden pen shines so brightly in this Lune! Sending you warmest wishes and the blessings of warm summer days for building sandcastles.

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2021 9:26:00 AM

My dearest Rhyme Time friend, I am elated to receive your return visit. I am honored and humbled by your generous words. Your beautiful, soul-stirring thoughts are cherished, Sam. Thank you for sharing in this poetic fellowship and creative experience with me, as we inspire each other with our artistic blooms. May our poesy bouquets ever charm and delight and enchant our imaginative spirits. Sending you warmest wishes and hugs charmed by sandcastle magic.. ~Susan

Christuraj Alex

Date: 10/28/2021 10:36:00 PM

Beautiful comparison-contrast and linking of sandcastles and sand storms. Great work! Congratulations!

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/29/2021 8:26:00 AM

Dear Christuraj, your beautiful comments and heartwarming congrats are held in my truest appreciation. Thank you, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Ann Peck

Date: 10/28/2021 12:17:00 PM

Dear Susan, Your poem is just lovely. So true about the sand :). Congratulations on your placement!

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/29/2021 8:25:00 AM

Dear Ann, your gracious visit and lovely comments are a joy to receive. Your heartwarming congrats are appreciated as well, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Hilo Poet

Date: 10/28/2021 8:13:00 AM

A wonderful portrayal of your theme, Susan, creatively beautiful executed Lune my friend, my compliments for your righteous undertaking and placement, Aloha!

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/29/2021 8:24:00 AM

Dear William, thank you for the honor of my poem’s placement in your contest. It’s a thrill to share the podium with the accomplished poets/poetesses listed. Your heartwarming comments and congrats are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Jan Allison

Date: 10/28/2021 5:28:00 AM

excellent contrast Susan, we have stormy weather at the moment and I saw wind whipping up the sand and it swirling around - no kids out there making sandcastles though, love the line 'grains of quartz sculpture' perfect description for a sandcastle, Many congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/29/2021 8:20:00 AM

Thank you, Jan, for your wonderful comments and heartwarming congrats. Wind whipped sand is a force to be reckoned with. Your lovely visit is appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Evelyn Judy Buehler

Date: 10/25/2021 10:51:00 PM

Susan, your impressive and beautiful poem shows the might in tiny grains of sand. Fascinating! Kindest regards, Evelyn :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/26/2021 7:57:00 AM

Dear Evelyn, agreed, even grains of sand can be mighty en masse.. yet grains of sand were once strong solid structures of quartz and feldspar broken down over millions of years and transported from places far from the shore.. it is indeed fascinating. Thank you for sharing in the wonders of nature with me, my friend. Your beautiful response to my poem is cherished. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Michelle Faulkner

Date: 10/25/2021 4:09:00 PM

How astute that you see the strength in both forms of sand, very inspiring! Love 'quartz sculpture' too~

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/26/2021 7:40:00 AM

Dear Michelle, I cherish your insightful response to my poem. Your beautiful comments are so very uplifting. Thank you, dear poetess, for your gracious visit. Your perceptive powers are as grand as your amazing poetry. Warmest wishes, my sweet friend.. ~Susan

Paghunda Zahid

Date: 10/25/2021 8:19:00 AM

Both are awesome... I am pretty sure will be placed. Good luck

Paghunda Zahid
Date: 11/1/2021 7:02:00 AM

My pleasure, lady

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/25/2021 8:23:00 PM

Dear Paghunda, thank you for your heartwarming comments and vote of confidence. Both are truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 10/25/2021 8:08:00 AM

Especially love the last verse!

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/25/2021 8:22:00 PM

Thank you, Kim! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Maximilian G. Wolf

Date: 10/23/2021 2:45:00 PM

Very nice, love it.

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/23/2021 8:01:00 PM

Dear Maximilian, thank you! I truly appreciate both your gracious visit and uplifting comment. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Heidi Sands

Date: 10/22/2021 7:54:00 AM

Wow! Excellent. I love the second one too :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/23/2021 8:04:00 AM

It is such a delight to see you, Heidi! Thank you for your beautiful comments. I am uplifted by your response. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 10/22/2021 7:39:00 AM

Hi Susan, 'A ghost of past strength'...........'until rallied by whipping winds rising in power'. Certainly soft grains of sand are a thought that first comes to mind but then again taken from a holistic perspective something much deeper is meant, the answer being within the poets grasp and craftsmanship. A thought provoking poem, dear poetry sis. blessings and hugs, Jennifer

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/23/2021 8:14:00 AM

My dearest Jennifer, not only are you a truly inspiring poetess but you are an instinctive and insightful poetry commenter as well! :) I adore the way your wonderful mind works, my sweet poetry sis. Thank you for looking beyond the soft sandy surface of this poem to the more disheartening and menacing layers beneath. Your radiant presence is cherished. Warmest wishes, love and hugs to you, my lovely friend.. ~Susan

Gershon Wolf

Date: 10/18/2021 7:12:00 PM

Ooh! That second stanza sure whips up a potent brew. Interesting that you posted this (and I'm reading it) on the day of the passing of a great American, Colin Powell, the architect of Operation Desert Storm. Kudos, Susan! :) gw

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/18/2021 10:11:00 PM

Dear Gershon, I truly appreciate your wonderful response to my poem. Indeed, Colin Powell was a great American. A man of “firsts”. I can understand how you might see him in the sandstorm… Thank you for your gracious visit, my friend.. ~Susan

Sam Kauffman

Date: 10/18/2021 1:11:00 PM

Dear Rhyme Time Friend, so brilliantly written - the DNA of sand in beauty and danger. I am mesmerized by and inspired by your take on this contest. Have a feeling William will love this Lune and its many layers! Sending you blessings.

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/18/2021 2:39:00 PM

My dear Rhyme Time Friend, your beautiful insightful comments are greatly treasured. I’m so glad you picked up on the many layers of this Lune. I had much more than mere sand in mind when I wrote this, although just the sheer beauty of sand does deserve the honor of a mixed Lune poem! :)) Thank you, my sweet friend, for your inspiring comments, but especially for your inspiring friendship! Sending you warmest wishes on gentle breezes.. ~Susan

Judy Ball

Date: 10/18/2021 12:31:00 PM

You capture the beauty of sand and yet the danger of a sand storm in this. Well done. God Bless, JB

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/18/2021 2:32:00 PM

Hello Judy, it’s wonderful to see you! Thank you for your gracious visit and uplifting comments. Both are appreciated, my friend.. ~Susan