Rusted

The rain patters quietly on this rusted roof of mine
Steadily, heavily,
Constantly.
I search in vain for a light, however small
A lighter. A candle. A way to hold on.
Pitter patter pit, whoosh goes the wind.
Bringing the cold in, curse these walls of rusted tin!
For I am cold, feeling small with no light.

Quietly, increasingly, my heart starts to pine.
The support beams to my broken home begin to whine,
And as the wind blows stronger, it begins to hide my cries.

The wind wails, and my tin walls fall
I can’t even bring myself to crawl
Away from the wreckage
Away from the pain
Blinded by tears, I cannot see the light of day.
I am stuck here in this ruin of a house, forgotten and shunned by the happy and brave.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 5/19/2016 2:13:00 PM
Daniexelle Eledwhen, creative and well done. Thank you for sharing. **SKAT**
Login to Reply
Date: 8/7/2015 4:38:00 PM
Thank you for the comments, and constructive critism. valid points, Ian. I tend to write when i'm emotional-i was cryin when i wrote this. I admit, when I'm writing like that my biggest concern is if it makes sense, and that it flows well.
Login to Reply
Date: 8/7/2015 10:10:00 AM
Wow, so powerful ... a harshly vivid reflection of sadness.
Login to Reply
Date: 8/7/2015 6:05:00 AM
This poem really expresses the undescribable pain and isolation of loss and emotions laid bare against the elements unprotected. Also the disabling effect of sorrow inhibiting future direction. Powerful. Kind regards, Ian
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Hide Ad