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Rusted

The rain patters quietly on this rusted roof of mine Steadily, heavily, Constantly. I search in vain for a light, however small A lighter. A candle. A way to hold on. Pitter patter pit, whoosh goes the wind. Bringing the cold in, curse these walls of rusted tin! For I am cold, feeling small with no light. Quietly, increasingly, my heart starts to pine. The support beams to my broken home begin to whine, And as the wind blows stronger, it begins to hide my cries. The wind wails, and my tin walls fall I can’t even bring myself to crawl Away from the wreckage Away from the pain Blinded by tears, I cannot see the light of day. I am stuck here in this ruin of a house, forgotten and shunned by the happy and brave.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




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Date: 5/19/2016 2:13:00 PM
Daniexelle Eledwhen, creative and well done. Thank you for sharing. **SKAT**
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Date: 8/7/2015 4:38:00 PM
Thank you for the comments, and constructive critism. valid points, Ian. I tend to write when i'm emotional-i was cryin when i wrote this. I admit, when I'm writing like that my biggest concern is if it makes sense, and that it flows well.
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Date: 8/7/2015 10:10:00 AM
Wow, so powerful ... a harshly vivid reflection of sadness.
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Date: 8/7/2015 6:05:00 AM
This poem really expresses the undescribable pain and isolation of loss and emotions laid bare against the elements unprotected. Also the disabling effect of sorrow inhibiting future direction. Powerful. Kind regards, Ian
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Book: Shattered Sighs