Rusted

The rain patters quietly on this rusted roof of mine
Steadily, heavily,
Constantly.
I search in vain for a light, however small
A lighter. A candle. A way to hold on.
Pitter patter pit, whoosh goes the wind.
Bringing the cold in, curse these walls of rusted tin!
For I am cold, feeling small with no light.

Quietly, increasingly, my heart starts to pine.
The support beams to my broken home begin to whine,
And as the wind blows stronger, it begins to hide my cries.

The wind wails, and my tin walls fall
I can’t even bring myself to crawl
Away from the wreckage
Away from the pain
Blinded by tears, I cannot see the light of day.
I am stuck here in this ruin of a house, forgotten and shunned by the happy and brave.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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A  Avatar
May 19, 2016 at 2:13 PM
Daniexelle Eledwhen, creative and well done. Thank you for sharing. **SKAT**
Eledwhen Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 4:38 PM
Thank you for the comments, and constructive critism. valid points, Ian. I tend to write when i'm emotional-i was cryin when i wrote this. I admit, when I'm writing like that my biggest concern is if it makes sense, and that it flows well.
Lindsay Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 10:10 AM
Wow, so powerful ... a harshly vivid reflection of sadness.
Jones Avatar
August 7, 2015 at 6:05 AM
This poem really expresses the undescribable pain and isolation of loss and emotions laid bare against the elements unprotected. Also the disabling effect of sorrow inhibiting future direction. Powerful. Kind regards, Ian
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