Road Rage
I remember
Your anger
The way your neck muscles
Stood out
As you cursed my name
You showed up
Uninvited
with your pants
Lower than your hips
Yet
You somehow paced with self assurance
You circled
The parking garage
Chain smoking
Making the concrete ground
Your ashtray
Your heavy clothes
In summer’s heat
Made it easy
To hide
a closed fist
As I allege
The broken headlight
With your name
in the same sentence
From my heart beat
My jaw popping
My hazard lights clicking
Your rap music blasting
through my speakers
I can’t remember
what noise
Stopped first
Or why
You held me close
In your arms
Afterwards
But I drove you home
quietly reaching out to you
To hold your hand
Desperately
Wanting
your warmth
your affection
Instead of suffocating
The thoughts
Of you 2 nights before
Shivering under my sheets
Against my body
As the drugs wore off
But I stayed awake
To make sure
You fell asleep
And also admire
How much I loved
Your company
After I dropped you off
I stared at your house
While multiple friend’s advice
Playing in the background
Their advice caused
My brain
And my heart to argue
For hours that night
And I kinda miss
That part
Cause when I
think of you now
I feel the effects of my insomnia
Creeping in
From consistent phone calls
Every night
At 3am
Taunting
Like you’re constantly poking
At my wounds
With a dull knife
I keep my blinds shut
And my lights off
After work
So you think I’m not home
It gives me time
To try to
fall asleep early
So I’m not startled
As you call
From an unknown number
I get ready for work
The night before now
That way I am prepared
To sprint through
the parking garage
To my car
Every day
And once I catch my breath
And lock the doors
I close my eyes
Turn my headlights on
And hope you won’t be there
Copyright © Ali Lynn | Year Posted 2022
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