Ripping Me Apart

I’ve realized, lately I don’t want to be seen, I live in the darkness Hide behind a screen. Whatever virus appeared Attached itself to my heart, It hasn’t left since And it’s ripping me apart. Because heaven descended And took them from me, Just as I thought I was finally free. Funeral after funeral They came and they went, Till all of me was shattered and battered and spent. My heart was broken My hair was dyed, But I couldn’t go back So I cried and I cried. Then they sent me away With a journal and pen, But despite all they tried I was never me again. And when I tried getting up Tried crawling from the ash, A shadow pulled me down And I fell with a crash. Time after time I gave it my all, But still, they abused it And hung up the call. Piece after piece They ripped me apart, Disrupting my healing Now I’m back to the start. I’m fearful and damaged As my grades start to slip, I’ll sit on the next couch With silence on my lips. I’ve never been perfect And didn’t claim to be, But the last time was bad So I wish they could see I wish they could see The girl I’ve become, When I went on without them Living, but numb. I’m reeling but healing One piece at a time, But I’m still so d*mn scared Of calling things mine.