Resilient Redemption

Probably few of us have capacity to see ourselves as both Angel and Demon. Many of us have had the experience of demonizing and punishing ourselves for sins of the past extending into our present festering unresolved trauma. Hopefully many of us have also had the experience of forgiveness and saving ourselves from sins of dis-integrity's future because someone shared with us, in some effective way, that nothing is always your autonomous fault If only because no organic creature, anthro or otherwise, is born or can survive radically autonomous from non-ego centers. Personal identity follows interpersonal ecosystemic individuation developmentally causally healthily and effectively. I hear healing opportunity in this responsible yet not solely authoritative both/and way of ego/eco-consciousness As well as traumatizing risk of denial, too cheap self forgiveness, too easy hiddenness of our secret most private feelings of guilt about harming another Both intentionally and without malice, accidentally. A woman's reluctant decision to abort may feel unresolvable between angelic health optimizing desires and demonic win/lose fears and angers As might her reluctant decision to buy a gun and several ominous rounds of deadening ammunition To protect herself and her children from traumatic demons at her flimsy door Not considering her lack of experience with braver win/win angels hoping to reassure her. Therapeutic angels may also wait, curiously and impatiently, outside that same door, searching for health's most wealthy bell to dispel shared dark shadows In-between silent demons we abhor and sacred angels we redemptively adore.