Resignation, Number One

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I DREAMT OF WRITING LIKE CAMUS. THINKING LIKE SARTRE, LIVING LIKE HEMINGWAY, AND ALL IN GOD'S CONSTANT GRACE. I THOUGHT I SUFFERED INDIA'S HUNGER AND AMERICA'S AFFLUENCE, BUT ACTUALLY, I WAS CAREFREE--AND CARELESS. NOW, THOUGH STILL A YOUNG MAN (31 is an odd age, but safe) I WANT LESS, MUCH LESS-- FAME, FORTUNE, KNOWLEDGE, PASSION, EVEN HOPE... IF THE WORLD IS INDEED DOOMED, I WILL LOVE IT TILL ITS LAST DAY-- AND IF THE WORLD IS GOD BLESSED, I WILL STILL LOVE IT TILL ITS LAST DAY. IF I CANNOT CREATE LIKE A GIANT, THEN I WILL WRITE WITH A SMALLER HAND AND UTTER NOISES IN A LOWER TONE. (This poem was written in the late 1970's)