Reply To A, "happy Valentines Day!!!"

Dear friend, I actually don’t know if I should even be writing this to you. I've been doing well with the whole not trying to contact you, but it seems to get harder and harder everyday. I feel empty inside and this depression is one of the worst I've ever been through. I feel that this could be the end. I feel a terrible distance between us and I don’t know how to make that space seem shorter. Sometimes I think to myself, "am I doing the right thing?" I can't help but feel that I’ve made a terrible mistake. But your sister told me it’s for the better. And even my best friend told me its better this way. Too many complications in our world. Too much confusion to make any sense out of anything at this point in time. A sort of numbing feeling come over me at night. Some times I call your phone hoping that you'll answer, but at the same time hoping that you don't. I don't think I could handle hearing your voice only to have to let go of it all over again. These things I tend to think about until all hours of the morning. Sleep doesn’t appeal to me anymore. It seems to have become unwanted, much like a tedious chore. I don’t think that things will get better, and if they do not anytime soon. I can only pray that you’re doing well. That your eyes see brighter days than mine allow me to see! In the end that’s all I can actually hope for. That some how these decisions and actions I have pursued will benefit your life. Because as much as I hate to admit it, they don’t benefit mine. Eternally yours, A distant memory