Repetition of My Constant Storm

My head spins and I zone out. This storm rants and raves, Tossing me violently to and fro'. I struggle to go forward, Only to be taken aback. Surrounded by vivid memories, I can't evade myself. I am unable to see straight. I can't walk, Let alone walk a straight line. I'm bound to this raging sea of Pain and confusion and self- repremand For something I could not have helped At such a young age. A young soul, a young heart; A young mind, old flashbacks. I'm wasting my time Trying to get free. There is no way out. This is not a dream. The crashing of the waves remind me, Constantly renewing the sound in my mind of The gunshot that rang out so clearly. I fall, Reminding myself that he fell; He fell hard. Was it the drugs? Was it depression, agony of the soul? Was he lonely? Was it anything at all? Again, I hear the waves hit the rocks. Again, I am reminded of the gunshot. Again, I'm tossed here and there. Again, I fall. Again, my head spins. Again, I zone out. Then I do it all over again.