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Poem

My head spins and I zone out. 
This storm rants and raves,
Tossing me violently to and fro'.
I struggle to go forward,
Only to be taken aback.
Surrounded by vivid memories,
I can't evade myself.
I am unable to see straight.
I can't walk,
Let alone walk a straight line.
I'm bound to this raging sea of
Pain and confusion and self- repremand
For something I could not have helped
At such a young age.
A young soul, a young heart;
A young mind, old flashbacks.
I'm wasting my time
Trying to get free.
There is no way out.
This is not a dream.
The crashing of the waves remind me,
Constantly renewing the sound in my mind of
The gunshot that rang out so clearly.
I fall, 
Reminding myself that he fell;
He fell hard.
Was it the drugs?
Was it depression, agony of the soul?
Was he lonely?
Was it anything at all? 
Again, I hear the waves hit the rocks.
Again, I am reminded of the gunshot.
Again, I'm tossed here and there.
Again, I fall.
Again, my head spins.
Again, I zone out.
Then I do it all over again.

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