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Repeat Offender

My Granddad can’t stay on the straight and narrow Robs garden centres with his bow and arrow, Police knew his scheming So now he is screaming Speeding downhill in a plastic wheelbarrow As gramps in his wheelbarrow got lots of LOLs The river impeded his getaway goals When used as a boat It just wouldn’t float Since when did those wheelbarrows have drainage holes He dragged out the barrow as fast as he could Expecting somehow it could do him some good He thought it made sense To ask Fred the Fence “Who launders wheelbarrows in this neighbourhood?” He sold the wheelbarrow and tried to go straight Then Grandad found weeds all round his garden gate “Oh for goodness sake, I need a new rake.” Went shopping at ten ’cause the store closed at eight He snuck through a window by breaking the pane And made his way through to the garden tools lane The alarm’s manic blast Brought police really fast He grabbed a wheelbarrow and set off again

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I Am Anaya

Date: 11/29/2022 4:04:00 PM

Five Fingers Grandad--Lol, has issues Would've been straight if he'd used Gardening "Natural Stone" instead. Great storyline! I Am Anaya

Terry Flood
Date: 11/30/2022 7:20:00 AM

River, wheelbarrow boat, drainage holes… natural stone… DISASTER! Glad you enjoyed, Anaya. Terry

Sara Kendrick

Date: 11/28/2022 3:29:00 AM

Doesn't learn from his mistakes. LOL..Way to go with this one. Sara

Terry Flood
Date: 11/28/2022 10:53:00 AM

Thank you, Sara. He did at least leave his bow and arrow at home so that it was breaking and entering rather than armed robbery. ;-) Terry

Ilene Bauer

Date: 11/27/2022 11:03:00 AM

a hilarious tale, wonderfully written, terry! i enjoyed...

Terry Flood
Date: 11/27/2022 1:56:00 PM

Thanks, Ilene. Would love to have illustrated this one but wasn’t sure I could do it justice. The picture in my head is hysterical though! Terry

L Milton Hankins

Date: 11/27/2022 8:29:00 AM

Terry, you've penned another hilarious poem. I think it's so funny how you use the older folks for your adventures. It makes me feel useful again.

Terry Flood
Date: 11/27/2022 8:52:00 AM

Thanks, Milt. I think that there is no one more fun than a fun older person. They’re far more likely to poke fun at themselves and have been around long enough to recognise and enjoy banter when they come across it. A lot (not all) of ‘young’ people are so busy looking for reasons to be offended that it’s hard to see the fun in them. That said, this poem originally began “My brother” until I wondered why he used a bow and arrow… then he became ‘Granddad’. Anyway, I’m sure you have your uses, like er, erm, a doorstop, or erm… maybe I should quit while I’m ahead ;-) terry

Deb M

Date: 11/27/2022 6:43:00 AM

Terry you truly are the funniest. I know i have said it before but i just love your wit! I would love to sit down with you with a cuppa and chat…I reckon I would be laughing non stop!! Excellent poem my friend….Debx

Terry Flood
Date: 11/27/2022 8:11:00 AM

Nice idea, Deb… but after a 24,000 mile round trip, I think I might need a large gin rather than a cuppa. ;-) Terry