Terry Flood Poet Limerick

Repeat Offender

My Granddad can’t stay on the straight and narrow
Robs garden centres with his bow and arrow, 
Police knew his scheming 
So now he is screaming
Speeding downhill in a plastic wheelbarrow

As gramps in his wheelbarrow got lots of LOLs
The river impeded his getaway goals
When used as a boat
It just wouldn’t float
Since when did those wheelbarrows have drainage holes

He dragged out the barrow as fast as he could
Expecting somehow it could do him some good
He thought it made sense 
To ask Fred the Fence
“Who launders wheelbarrows in this neighbourhood?”

He sold the wheelbarrow and tried to go straight
Then Grandad found weeds all round his garden gate
“Oh for goodness sake,
I need a new rake.”
Went shopping at ten ’cause the store closed at eight

He snuck through a window by breaking the pane
And made his way through to the garden tools lane
The alarm’s manic blast
Brought police really fast
He grabbed a wheelbarrow and set off again

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I Am Anaya November 29, 2022 at 4:04 PM Five Fingers Grandad--Lol, has issues Would've been straight if he'd used Gardening "Natural Stone" instead. Great storyline! I Am Anaya Terry Flood November 30, 2022 at 7:20 AM River, wheelbarrow boat, drainage holes… natural stone… DISASTER! Glad you enjoyed, Anaya. Terry

Sara Kendrick November 28, 2022 at 3:29 AM Doesn't learn from his mistakes. LOL..Way to go with this one. Sara Terry Flood November 28, 2022 at 10:53 AM Thank you, Sara. He did at least leave his bow and arrow at home so that it was breaking and entering rather than armed robbery. ;-) Terry

Ilene Bauer November 27, 2022 at 11:03 AM a hilarious tale, wonderfully written, terry! i enjoyed... Terry Flood November 27, 2022 at 1:56 PM Thanks, Ilene. Would love to have illustrated this one but wasn’t sure I could do it justice. The picture in my head is hysterical though! Terry

L Milton Hankins November 27, 2022 at 8:29 AM Terry, you've penned another hilarious poem. I think it's so funny how you use the older folks for your adventures. It makes me feel useful again. Terry Flood November 27, 2022 at 8:52 AM Thanks, Milt. I think that there is no one more fun than a fun older person. They’re far more likely to poke fun at themselves and have been around long enough to recognise and enjoy banter when they come across it. A lot (not all) of ‘young’ people are so busy looking for reasons to be offended that it’s hard to see the fun in them. That said, this poem originally began “My brother” until I wondered why he used a bow and arrow… then he became ‘Granddad’. Anyway, I’m sure you have your uses, like er, erm, a doorstop, or erm… maybe I should quit while I’m ahead ;-) terry

Deb M November 27, 2022 at 6:43 AM Terry you truly are the funniest. I know i have said it before but i just love your wit! I would love to sit down with you with a cuppa and chat…I reckon I would be laughing non stop!! Excellent poem my friend….Debx Terry Flood November 27, 2022 at 8:11 AM Nice idea, Deb… but after a 24,000 mile round trip, I think I might need a large gin rather than a cuppa. ;-) Terry