Reminiscence

I remember when I was verbally bullied, I would not tell my parents or teacher of what was happening. I would only take it all in solitary stride, I remember always feeling both sad and happy in being alone. I think about it now, I realize the reasons why I was bullied, why I was resentful of those who done so to me… I realize how silly it all was as a whole. I notice how it seems to be my fault, I rejected their offers for friendship. I still think I was right, I intuitively knew of their potential two-faced sides. I have had friends long before then. I unwillingly moved elsewhere (away from mine friends back then). I seem to have lost them for as long as I shall continue to live. I eventually had no one but [one] older and [some] younger cousins. I remember when I was my parents’ only beloved little one. I would have everything a child wanted and needed. I realized my parents often never played with me, I have come to feel they were never a good refuge for my feelings anyway. I see how I’ve changed from a beloved child to now this lonely soul. I notice how everybody else eventually changes. I have had good few friends in these passing recent years of youth. I have taken the toll that life has had in place for me. I reminisce it all now, I felt so alone, still feel alone. I remember my pain, I remember my joys, I still console myself alone. I notice how everything is not the same, I realize the happier days of my past themselves cannot repeat. I know even if they did then I would face it all again. I forever now accept it all to be an essential part of me.