Remember That I Loved You

*Edited for Length and Content* Remember that I loved you while we went riding through the ‘burbs, looking at houses we couldn’t afford, caught up in your naivety so you gave me your word, dumped you for the next one, thought I’d never be that girl. Remember that I loved you, gave him up for you. Let you play games, run things, was easily your fool. I was embarrassed but I kept on, you had to love me, I insisted. Tried to lie about the signs you were honest I ignored it. At the end I took the blame, let them think I was crazy. Never told them ‘bout the talks, all the promises you made me. Remember that I loved you, but you never felt the same. I lied to myself and I lied to my friends. Before, I was on the ledge and with you I took the plunge. Fell face first you stepped back, just sex, that’s what you want? I gave it, then chased you, you took off with my heart. Took some time but I got past you, you never needed that. Remember that I loved you? Thought 'at last’ I got it right. You were different, I was stable, just two adults living life. Slept together on the first night, unconventional start. But I had a key to your place, you made your way to my heart. Saw the text in your phone, didn’t blow up your spot, hardly clapped back even though I was hot. Dragged you through, you followed me back. He put in his work, so I’ll give him that. Not sure why we ended, something was missing. I remember the night I was crying and pleading. Two in the morning, frustration all on you. We can point fingers, I never made it easy. Remember that I loved you? Though I hated you at first. I judged you, thought lowly, scum of the earth. I was down for whatever if you were involved, went from drop offs to long talks, my thinking evolved. My heart was expanding. You had plenty to offer. I was far gone long before the night in October. You had me wide open, I was young and unfocused. I was marked, I was yours, we both know that you knew this. Things happened so quickly, next month I was gone. Told you I’d be back, I think you knew all along. From there I went crazy, you weren’t much better. I held out, you didn’t, she came back and you let her. I didn’t sweat it, just wrote poems and cried. I’d text you, you’d call me, hurt on the line. We tried. Remember? I tried, I kept up, you gave up, remember? I reached out, still loved you, remember? Then I branched out, you tried to come back, don’t even. Remember that I loved you? I doubt it.