Regret Bleeds To Longing
Regret beats down like rain
Longing is like a still aquifer
No matter how I cup my hands
Regrets slip through my fingers
Filters underground to longing
All my failures transpire
Comes down in a torrent
The soil drinks all my regrets
Pools into something pure
Kilometers out of reach
I bring out a shovel
But emptiness has no soil
Here's my drill too short
But my bit is too brittle
It breaks just out of reach ‘
The soil of a failed marriage
The topsoil of a son divided
Each grain of my shortcomings
Receiving my sweat and blood
Meet sweet and sour longing
Quenched then parched again
Give me living water, Jesus
Make me porous enough
Solute dissolved into solution
That nothing drains to longing
If I could let go of solidity
To be dissolved by regrets
To be transfigured to water
So, I dig my well, empty
Not knowing I am the Pacific
Make a home in the desert
Regret right as rain, me askew
Sweet longing out of reach
Myself, their conduit broken
Dig into the impossible China
Not knowing I’m 70% water
Knowing, make me a pail
A small hole if regret overflows
Myself a drop of gritty blood
Reaching toward the water table
Longing like the salty ocean
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