Refurbished Nursery Rhymes: Little Miss Muffett Or Don't Mess With PMS

When a big hairy spider Came and plopped down beside her As Miss Muffett sat munchin' A light, healthy luncheon, She screamed, "Sir, naught could be ruder Than an arachnid intruder!", And proceeded to prove the mistake he had made. 'neath a teacup she trapped him, With a teaspoon she tapped him, And then lethally zapped him With a snootfull of Raid. You may ask why'd a maid Go ballistic that way. Well, that's something this nursery rhyme Never would say. As the tale I've revamped, I'd opine she was "cramped" And in no mood for sharing with strangers that day. Or, more likely, Although this may sound quite absurd, She'd not abide spider turds In her curds and whey.