Reflection of the Past, Visions of the Future
Since I was a kid,
they said I was gentle as a lamb.
Quiet.
Kind.
Smart.
So I've kept that image.
Or tried, at least.
I didn’t fail.
Not once.
Grades stayed high,
mouth stayed clean,
choices stayed safe.
No vices, no trouble,
just quiet nods and
“Yes, I can.”
“Yes, I will.”
I built a life that made people proud.
And slowly, I forgot to ask myself,
"Are you proud too?"
Well, I guess I am.
I’ve built a good name, after all.
But looking back now,
I feel sadness
because every praise I get
feels like a quiet command
that the only room I should enter
is the room of success
Every applause disregards the possibility
that I could fail at any time.
It’s like a tooth,
one that never got to grow
because a “perfect” one
was already there.
I should bear the weight of the crown I chose,
but as time passes by,
it grows heavier,
stiffening my every move.
Now that I’m older,
I wish to live without any standard.
To enjoy life and everything it offers.
I wish to say no without guilt.
I wish to rest without thinking of time.
I wish to live without having to earn it first.
But with a heart as brittle as glass,
A mind that easily overflows with thoughts,
With soft eyes that cry too easily—
Is it even possible?
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