Reckoning(Wisdom Hard Earned)

slumbering so long deep inside unable to overcome the tide a heart slowly awakens in a man once forsaken i see beauty where once was none hearing wisdom from those who have won(?) i am breaking out of the bonds of inaction giving up is easy, yet brings no satisfaction of others i must stop and think of myself, i must step back from the brink i am not dirty, or unworthy of merit i have a good heart, and would share it sometimes it is wise to do nothing at all yet now is not the time to stall i must meet the day of reckoning a future is beckoning others may say what they will they have their own roles to fill i must say what is in my heart or my reason and me will part i'll say not, what others would hear me say or even what i would hear myself say only what is in my heart, must i confess old wounds, and hurts redress i am in recovery, i learn more without end and lessons are more painful if i can not bend there is ransom to be paid for my soul i will pay, and then again be whole against the backdrop of a world gone mad well within the lines drawn for me, i'm not sad to be me anymore, i'm not mad anymore there is peace here, in my hearts core feelings are things from which i would hide to excape them, i altered my perceptions, and lied but even those feelings i would not feel are the more precious now, for being real now emotions flow, like swirling waters within hope, rushing forward, free again surging often in chaotic patterns, fast and strong heedless, a stream gathering steam, tumbling headlong this addict is alone tonight and you know that is alright because my higher power is here, too and now, i know what to do, ================================================ (or at least i thought i did?)