read when I'm gone

i wanted to say goodbye, but i'm afraid I wasn't strong enough. i haven't been able to look you in the eyes these past weeks. so instead, I'll offer an explanation. they told me from birth, that i was never deserving of your love, but know that this performance will eventually be written as nothing more than a dalliance with death. I'm tired of being afraid to be alive. so I'm running. i was always good at that. wind beneath me, hair flying back so fast that tears have no choice but to fly away. where and what I'm running to i do not know. my greatest fear is that one day, when you wake up, you will look at me for too long, and you'll see me how i see myself. so my love, i must leave us behind. eclipse our memories in a mere photo album. perhaps someday, i will view them again, look at our faces in a sepia stained polaroid, adorned with a layer of dust, and smile. our love knew no bounds, but i fear i did. and i fear, that in my arrogance of youth, i left you behind within them.