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Razor Blades

Razor Blades 

I tried and i promised
that i would do it no more
but the pain brings tears
right through that steel door
i threw away all the razor blades
but somehow i still found things to use today

i sit and i look at pictures from another time
i cry cause it hurts
he use to be mine
inside my body my soul still bleeds
all i want is to be free

the pain that comes
over floods my senses
the blood dripping down
my white skin
seems so senseless

i say that i don't
that i stopped so long ago
but in the moment of loneliness
i go

i do what i vowed i would never again
if only so i can feel something
for a split second

i tear at my chest
for my heart throbs  in pain
i cry in secret
so no one sees my shame
the addiction that pulls at my body with in
the need to feel something

if only i could stop
if only i could see
but i still think
that life would be better without me

no one see's the hidden scars
no one see's me behind those bars
no one see's all the pain
because its all hidden behind a twisted smile on my face

not a soul hears my cries
no one understands how every day i die
sometimes i just need out
to release myself

do you know what its like
to be looked at in strife
to be cast out with blades
because you cut everyday
because your different
you have to play a game
do you know what its like
can you feel my shame??

painbodycryi do not know?

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Justin Bordner

February 12, 2013 at 12:10 PM

Life needs you Jay, perhaps more than you realized at this time of grief - you are still here, so your partnership with Life must have good meaning - I think many people, including artist underestimate not only how difficult it is to portray oneself honestly but how valuable it can be to witness another's grief and their process of endurance - poetry such as this requires immense courage that alot of artist don't have - J.A.B. %

Jay Loveless

February 12, 2013 at 2:41 PM

I have come a long long way from the point i was at when I wrote this. I dont consider myself strong, nor brave, however, I force myself into situations. I can lie to another, but I must always be brutally honest with myself. Tho to tell the truth, I despise lying to anyone