Rationing Prayers
I used to pray with conditions attached...
The I'll do this if you'll only do that type of soiled tripe.
The epitome of mind blemishes and ramblings.
That I knew would never bear anything significant.
I'm older now, and my prayer nest is made of a softer fabric.
Less abrasive-less selfish.
Tiny puffs of hope- toward heaven.
Directed at the suffering of others.
Sometimes prayer seems to work.
Other times not so much.
But who am I to question intention and outcomes?
The sincere prayer is more exhausting than
selfish ones.
A real drain on the mind.
I've learned to ration them.
Not wasting anything on those that
run up huge tabs at societal expense.
I miss those sticky-youthful days.
Filled with wrecking ball-fun.
And prayers attached to hazy conditions.
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