Notes About The Poem

November 21, 2021

~ Seventh Place ~
Premiere Contest: < 7
Sponsor: Rob Carmack

~ Third Place ~
Premiere Contest: A Hiku Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Brian Strand

~ Seventh Place ~
Premiere Contest: Hiku (Disciplined Brevity)
Sponsor: William Kekaula
 *contest requirements:
 *howmanysyllables.com: 16;  6 - 5 - 5
 (howmanysyllables.com/words/fire: 1 syllable)


 

Rapture - Hiku

native drums beat in sync
        dreams dance round the fire—
my head on his chest
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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12
Messina Avatar
August 3, 2025 at 4:41 AM
How lovely, Susan. I can see why this was on the winners list in all those contests. Hope all is well my dear friend. Warmest wishes always, Charlie
Ashley Avatar
August 3, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Dear Charlie, it's wonderful to see you! Thank you for your gracious visit and kind words. All is well here where I sit and I hope all is well for you in Charlie-town :) Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Carmack Avatar
July 31, 2025 at 7:12 AM
A great example of how one can use just a few words perfectly. Congrats and thank you.
Ashley Avatar
July 31, 2025 at 7:24 AM
Dear Rob, thank you for my poem's placement in your wonderful contest and for the chance for an older poem to shine. Your comments and kind congrats are appreciated. It's a pleasure to share the podium the gifted poets listed. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Morris Avatar
January 28, 2023 at 1:07 PM
Lovely poem. Congratulations on your achievements. Well done and best wishes. :-)
Ashley Avatar
January 29, 2023 at 8:18 AM
Dear Michelle, your heartwarming comments and congrats are both lovely to receive. Thank you for your kindness, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Kauffman Avatar
January 9, 2023 at 11:22 AM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend congratulations on another outstanding poem on the winners list! I can feel the vibrations of the drumbeat and feel the intimacy in your ku - the warmth of a gentle embrace! This is so lovely. Happy New Year dear Friend. Sending you blessings of joy and peace in the drumbeat of eternal grace along with a hug!
Ashley Avatar
January 10, 2023 at 11:43 AM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, it's so wonderful to see you! Thank you for your heartwarming congrats and for the embrace of your precious thoughts. I'm so glad to know you felt the vibrations of romance, your keen perception never lets you down, my sweet poetry sis. I hope you enjoyed a joyous and beautiful Holiday Season. May your 2023 be filled with lots of health, love, happiness and poetic inspiration. Warmest wishes and hugs sent on eternal rhythms.. ~Susan
Dietrich Avatar
December 28, 2022 at 2:27 PM
Back with more congrats on this beauty
Ashley Avatar
December 28, 2022 at 5:31 PM
Dear Andrea, thank you for your return visit and for your heartwarming congrats. Both are truly appreciated, sweet lady. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Sambourne Avatar
December 28, 2022 at 11:08 AM
A haiku of romantic bliss. Enjoyed it immensely! Congratulations. Be well dear poet. Sincerely, Brian
Ashley Avatar
December 28, 2022 at 5:29 PM
Dear Brian, I relish your return visit. Thank you for your wonderful comments and heartwarming congrats. Both are received with gratitude. I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan (soup mail)
Goldsmith Avatar
December 28, 2022 at 9:43 AM
Back with Congratulations on your new win. A creative/lovely write. I enjoyed it. Have A Merry/Happy/Healthy/Blessed New Year 2023....................
Ashley Avatar
December 28, 2022 at 5:34 PM
Dear Paula, your return visit is delightful and your heartwarming congrats are treasured. Warmest wishes for a happy, healthy and inspiring new year, my friend! ~Susan
Gauthier Avatar
September 26, 2022 at 9:54 PM
Charming brevity ~
Ashley Avatar
September 27, 2022 at 6:01 AM
Dear Line, it’s always wonderful to hear from you. Thank you, for your lovely comment and visit. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Thomas Avatar
June 22, 2022 at 12:07 PM
An enchanting picture Susan :)
Ashley Avatar
June 22, 2022 at 12:13 PM
Dear FJ, it a pleasure to see you! Thank you for your visit and lovely comment. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Ray Choudhury Avatar
June 13, 2022 at 6:44 AM
Dearest Susan, reading your poems is an exciting experience - brevity at its best in this poem of revelry as well as romance! 'dreams dance around the fire" - what an enchanting image! Fave for me! Love and blessings, My Dearest Susan - please continue writing your charming pieces ~ Mala
Ashley Avatar
June 14, 2022 at 7:27 PM
Dearest Mala, your beautiful comments are treasured as is your wonderful friendship. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me and for the honor of your fave - all the more special since I so admire the gifted artistry and wondrous expression of your poetic pen. Work and family has kept very busy these last few months keeping me from sharing poetry with lovely poets like you, my sweet friend.. but I just posted a new poem today :) Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
George Avatar
April 21, 2022 at 5:22 AM
A scene of revelry and romance beautifully coupled ! Lovely haiku, Susan ! I visualize a beautiful campfire before me . !
Ashley Avatar
April 30, 2022 at 8:56 AM
Dearest Valsa, thank you for your gracious visit and heartwarming comments. Lucky are those whose romance burns with an unquenchable flame. Warmest wishes, my inspiring friend.. ~Susan
Brul Avatar
March 24, 2022 at 6:55 PM
This is amazing! I could see two souls infront of a camp fire...your head in his chest makes you hear his heartbeats as you build your dreams...that dream fuels the fire. Splendid. A FAV FOR ME.
Ashley Avatar
March 25, 2022 at 7:01 PM
Dear JCB, I am elated by your response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of the piece with me. There is so much beauty to be cherished in romantic love. I relish your thoughts and I hold the honor of your fav in my truest appreciation. Warmest wishes, my friend .. ~Susan
Deo Avatar
January 28, 2022 at 7:51 AM
wonderful, great to see and learn about hiku/senryu. shalom shalom Susan
Ashley Avatar
March 11, 2022 at 6:39 PM
Dear Anil, your gracious visit is truly appreciated as is your wonderful comment. Thank you for your kindness, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Zahid Avatar
January 13, 2022 at 4:15 AM
How sweet and how romantic Susan. Loved it... Your pen always leave us in awe... Blessings
Ashley Avatar
March 11, 2022 at 6:37 PM
Dear Paghunda, thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this poem, my friend, especially since your golden pen never fails to inspire me as well. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Marcum Wong Avatar
December 24, 2021 at 8:45 PM
Oh how romantic Susan. I can hear the rhythmic drums. Congratulations on your fabulous win. Have a joyous Christmas my friend. Blessings xxoo
Ashley Avatar
December 28, 2021 at 8:12 AM
Dearest Connie, your presence inspires happiness and your wonderful words are elevating. Your heart's imagination dances to the romantic rhythmic drums beautifully. Thank you, my sweet friend, for your lovely congrats. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, Connie. Warmest wishes to you and yours for the new year to be filled with light, love and inspiration.. ~Susan
Radice Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 2:22 PM
Multi layered and so beautifully constructed. A great read. Cheers - Gary
Ashley Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 4:24 PM
Dear Gary, thank you for your amazing feedback. I'm thrilled to know you enjoyed this poem, your warm words inspire, my friend. Warmest wishes and happy holidays to you and yours.. ~Susan
Sambourne Avatar
December 18, 2021 at 3:56 PM
Greetings Susan. Whether you pen a long piece or a few short lines, I am often astounded by your poetic force. Here again, such startling imagery. Congratulations on another original, thoughtful posting. Be well. Brian
Ashley Avatar
December 19, 2021 at 4:22 PM
Dear Brian, your beautiful comments are so very encouraging. I am humbled and honored by your generous response and kind congrats. Thank you, my friend, for sharing your precious thoughts with me. Warmest wishes and happy holidays to you and yours.. ~Susan
Watt Avatar
December 2, 2021 at 6:18 PM
Wow, dear PS-PS, in just a closet of space you have crafted an emotional mansion of poetic depth in this gem of yours... overlaying the themes of music, dancing, dreams, and romance with the primal passion of fire and percussion in just 15 words. I love your metaphor of drums representing his heartbeat. I marvel at your succinct skill and your pithy perfection. Congrats for your win, poetry sis! Warmly ~ John
Ashley Avatar
December 4, 2021 at 7:30 PM
Oh my amazing PS-PB, I swoon over the metaphorical beauty and rich alliterative allure of your breathtaking comments. I am both honored and humbled by the depth and breadth of your emotional intelligence and artistic awareness. Your rich, textured and truly thoughtful comments never fail to leave me dazed in amazement. You are an inspiration, John, you are an uplifting force of Nature and you are a most cherished friend. I relish the expressive exuberance and vivid vitality of your warm words and heartfelt congrats. Thank you, my dear, wonderful poetry bro. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan
Goldsmith Avatar
December 2, 2021 at 10:41 AM
Congratulations on your win. "Wonderful" Few words with much said. Have a great/blessed day writing away......................
Ashley Avatar
December 4, 2021 at 5:59 PM
Dear Paula, thank you so much for your wonderful visit and heartwarming congrats! It's a pleasure to see you, my sweet friend:) Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Callus Avatar
December 2, 2021 at 1:47 AM
This is excellent, Susan...and the setting is captivatingly romantic. With head on chest the heartbeats resonate. ~ Congratulations on your fine win, my friend. Warm regards & Hugs // paul
Ashley Avatar
December 4, 2021 at 5:57 PM
Thank you dear Paul. It is such a pleasure to share the podium with you. Seems like we both haven't had a lot of free time for PS in recent months, which makes these contest results all the more special. Thank you for your beautiful feedback and for your heartwarming congrats. Your friendship fills me with gratitude. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan
Agustin Avatar
December 1, 2021 at 7:40 PM
Wow! Congrats! Thanks for sharing this... God bless you.
Ashley Avatar
December 4, 2021 at 5:49 PM
Thank you, Beata, for your heartwarming congrats. Your visit is truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Dietrich Avatar
December 1, 2021 at 3:35 PM
absolutely love this!!! You chose just one but it is SOLID. Big congrats
Ashley Avatar
December 4, 2021 at 5:51 PM
Thank you, Andrea! Your wonderful words are so very uplifting, as are your heartwarming congrats. I'm so pleased you love this, that means so much to me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
La France Avatar
December 1, 2021 at 2:31 PM
Susan, lovely and congratulations on your win in William's Hiku contest ~ love and serenity _Constance
Ashley Avatar
December 4, 2021 at 5:46 PM
Thank you, Constance, for your wonderful comments and heartwarming congrats. Your visit is appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Allison Avatar
December 1, 2021 at 12:41 PM
I really adored this poem Susan, many congratulations on your win, hugs jan xx
Ashley Avatar
December 4, 2021 at 5:46 PM
Thank you, Jan. I relish your return visit and heartfelt congrats. Your precious words mean so much. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan
Kelii Kekaula Avatar
December 1, 2021 at 10:58 AM
Exquisite figures of speech that intensely magnify beautifully, Susan. Truly a remarkable endeavor my friend! My compliments on your placement in the Hiku contest, Aloha!
Ashley Avatar
December 1, 2021 at 5:36 PM
Dear William, thank you for the honor of my poem’s placement in your contest. I’m delighted to be amongst the talented poets on your list. Your sponsorship is most appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
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