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Raised by a narcissist

Until last Wednesday I never thought 
I'd been bought up by narcacist, the thought made me distraught 
But then the memories flooded back in
A narcissist raised me, now let me begin 

I thought of my childhood as safe and happy
Never rich but always savvy 
There's nothing I ever went without 
Apart from love, I see that now

Micro chips for every meal 
My mum grieving  so not ideal
Saturdays sat alone in the dark
Snooker in the background made it's mark

Friends they would come and go
Drunken fights in the house was a great show 
Tenants falling down the stairs
Mums friends always over in tears

Dad wasn't in the picture, not much I knew 
He died apparently but that was untrue 
Don't get me started we'll be here all night
Let's try and keep this poem polite!

My stepdad is an angry man
Was scared of him from the second they began
Mum took his side no matter what
A grown man Vs child fight for the top spot 

I'm the black sheep, I've been condemned
A narcissist's love feels so real

A narcissist feeds off fear 
If your vulnerable they are always near 

Because I dared to take my stand
From the family I was banned 
She rationed her love until there was nothing left 
Looking back it was always neglect

I sat down and thought today
What I'm writing is not nice to say
I feel bad my words might make her sad
That's the narcissist for you, l now understand 

Through all my sadness she will never see
Her actions are what damaged me

She'll play the victim, of course she's right
A narcissist will always win the fight 

What iv learnt today' is not nice
But if I can, here's some advice 
Never feed a narcissist your soul
For once you do they have control 

They will twist and turn, kick and bite
They will do anything to make you believe their right 
You'll be conditioned forever, it's sad to say
Deep down inside you'll never get away

She's had a grip all my life
I believed everything including her lies 
My mum is not a demon to me 
But she is dark, cold and mean

A narcissist hides in plain site
A narcissist feeds off misery for their delight

My mothers a narcissist, the thoughts all new
The damage done is beyond repair
Still don't know how we got here

I can say it all day for all to hear
My mum broke my heart, I won't ever heal
A narcissist raised me, how did I survive 
A narcissist raised me, am I that way inclined?

A narcissist's love is just a loan
You'll pay it back with blood & bone

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 8/26/2024 4:37:00 AM
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through this, so sad when a parent is like this... Children need to be loved and nurtured not traumatised by elders...
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