Quips My Ex Girlfriend Revisited

1. My ex-girlfriend tried to impress me when She told me that she is "Fasting"! And I knew That she was true because, I saw just how Fast she ate that basket of chicken....... 2. The next time that she told me that she was "Fasting" It was three (03) double meat Whoppers! And I have never Seen three (03) double meat Whoppers go so quicK...... 3. My ex-girlfriend was so upset! She explained that when She was young that she could bounce a dime Off of her butt. Only now, when she bounce the same dime It only flops! So, I looked on the bright side and told her that now she can Bounce a quarter on her belly button and it only drops! 4. The last time that I saw her, she was "Fasting" on a box of cookies. * And boy, those (03) box's of cookies sure went fast! Explanation: That is none sence and no one got fat in the making of this pun! 4. I just hate it when my ex-girlfriend call's me! Usually I keep my cell phone on vibrate and in my front pocket. My EX-friend Know's this. She also, know's that I have a bladder problem! Every time she blow's up my phone it make's me pee! I know that I hate it, but she give's me such a warm feeling and I take what I can get! 5. My ex-girlfriend is so stupid that she can't ever give me a piece of her mind! She has to get an substitute..... Ha! Ha! Ha! He, He, He! 6.My ex-girlfriend, She alway's cut me short!........ She wanted to give me a piece of her mind, buy, she didn't have enough brain cell's left! Ha! Ha! Feel the Joke! Uh! EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS? 1. When you "Pass Gas" and you know you did........ And no-body heard it........ Is it proper to wait for someone to smell it first, before you say, excuse me.......... Is it really too late....... That is what my girlfriend doe's! * I would just blame it on a friend! Moments To Share: My ex-girl friend and I were discussing a poem that I wrote! She told me that it was an perfect oxymoron....... I told her that she was just a moron! Words' To Live by: I was trying to explaine my mis-giving's to my EX-girlfriend...... I told her that the problem was, not that I really love you, because I don't! The problem is that I just can't get you out of my mind!