Caren Krutsinger Poet Prose Poetry

Proud To Be a Blue Sheep

I was raised on sarcasm, and criticizing ways
I picked myself apart, and threw myself to the crows daily
It was what we did; it was our norm,
and I had to fit in.

No one liked me at my house, I was the odd one.
The blue sheep, not even good enough to be black.
I knew it, felt it, but was not wise enough yet to understand
It was not me, it was them…..

When I fell in love, I formed my own family.
I said “I love you” and hugged, and did things I had wanted done.
To me. 
Things that had not happened.

When I grew up I noticed things had changed.
My mother could hug my daughters and say “I love you” to them.
She could even say it to my husband and mean it.
I was the last one she could hug.

It was a stilted hug, but it was enough.
I recognized now it was her, not me.
I am still a blue sheep, but glad to be one now.
Proud of being me. 

My creativity keeps me different, 
I am grateful and happy, and have thrown sarcasm into the trash. 
I finally figured out how to never pick myself apart again.
The crows are not happy, but I am.

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Jan Allison August 9, 2021 at 12:52 PM I can relate to this with my father - never treated me like a daughter - now i will think of myself as the blue sheep not the black one! hugs jan xx Caren Krutsinger August 9, 2021 at 2:40 PM I love being the blue sheep, Jan. I am glad you are one too!

L Milton Hankins August 8, 2021 at 9:29 AM Ah, Caren, this is so fine, so telling. I felt sad that you had such a relationship with your mother, but, then, I had a relationship like that with my father. I think those of us who know you here on PS would say you are definitely a white sheep...full of love and purity...with just a broad fun streak...snicker, snicker! Caren Krutsinger August 9, 2021 at 2:40 PM Hahahaha Thank Hank.