Processing

Please bear with me. I am processing all this. Probably through some PTSD. My only way to process this, is to write It has been such a long, ongoing fight I remember April 7th, the sudden tiredness that hit I was afraid I wouldn't wake up, if I closed my eyes a bit The fever went on for days, which I usually don't get I kept telling myself to try healthy things, move and not fret Then after 7 days, the breathing problem, it came After that, nothing was quite the same I was in an ambulance, speeding in a flash Even though I couldn't breathe, I thought we would crash The fever was spiking and I remember the reaction of the men We got to the hospital fast in morning, but I can't remember when I was put on oxygen and my heart wasn't doing well I was moved to isolation for the night, what would happen I couldn't tell Noises from the room next to me, were ventilators I was told Nurses sent messages from my heart monitor to ICU, but I'm not old Medical workers had helmets on with fans inside They couldn't hear me well, my tears seemed withheld not cried I was only relieved that I could breathe, hoping I'd be alright But I didn't sleep for the entire night The most important part of all this, were prayers from people who care! Helping me through it all, prayers coming from everywhere I may still have issues lingering, breathing, chest pain, tiredness still But I do still have fight left and I do have strong will I am grateful for every single person, who showed kindness to me I will be forever grateful, please know this, coming from me! Heidi Sands 4/25/20