Home » Poems » Tom Cunningham » Poor Old Fred

Poor Old Fred

It could happen to you its not funny
At the diner Fred had an upset tummy
Headed for his car
He didn't get far
Felt it run down his leg warm and runny...

A group of friends they were passing nearby
They didn't know whether to laugh or cry
One said" Fred you smell"
Fred said "go to hell"
Poor Fred just wanted to curl up and die...

He got in his car and drove down the street
And hoped no one else he knew he would meet
But then things got worse
Fred started to curse
Tried to get out but was stuck to his seat...

There's a moral to this limerick I'll tell
You don't want people to say that you smell
So unlike poor Fred
Please stay in your bed 
Don't venture out if you're not feeling well..


Written 4th February 2020.

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 1/6/2024 12:53:00 AM

I understand poor Fred's dilemma. Life is not easy; with stomach issues it is even worse. Thanks for sharing it with us and for dropping by my page. Sara K

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/6/2024 2:49:00 AM

Thank you very much Sara, everyone's worst nightmare if they are not feeling well, I wouldn't leave the house. Tom

Lisa Brown

Date: 2/13/2020 12:37:00 AM

Poor Fred!!!!!! Mama!!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/13/2020 1:38:00 AM

Thanks Lisa, everyone should heed the warning lol. Tom

Michelle Faulkner

Date: 2/11/2020 2:10:00 PM

This is so funny, in a graphic, messy way - skillfully done, Tom!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/11/2020 2:44:00 PM

Thanks Michelle, happy you enjoyed it. Tom

Alexis Y.

Date: 2/10/2020 11:12:00 PM

Hi Tom, I feel bad for ole Fred. The next time I’m sure he will stay in bed if he’s not feeling well. You are so good at the limerick form. You should write a book. You already have a collection of them right? :-) Alexis

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/11/2020 2:58:00 AM

Thank you Alexis,well.ive got.a few, ill sort them.out and have a look. Tom

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 2/10/2020 9:36:00 PM

G'day Tom … there's one other place instead of bed where Fred should spend some time with the condition he was suffering - good moral to heed Tom - Lindsay

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/11/2020 2:51:00 AM

Haha you're right Lindsay. Thank you. Tom

Eve Roper

Date: 2/10/2020 1:27:00 PM

Poor Fred wouldn't want to be in his shoes,. Oh, thank you very much for congratulating me potd today. Hugs Eve

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/10/2020 3:13:00 PM

Thank you Eve, you're welcome, well deserved honour. Tom

Jan Allison

Date: 2/10/2020 12:43:00 PM

Omg this is hilariarse, into my faves lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/10/2020 1:04:00 PM

Thanks very much Jan, if that happened to me I think I'd have to move house lol. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 2/9/2020 12:40:00 PM

A great moral to this story - I had a good laugh this evening, needed it thanks Tom. Blessings, Jennifer.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/9/2020 1:36:00 PM

Thank you very much Jennifer, it real life you'd want a hole to open and swallow you lol Tom

Jenish Somadas

Date: 2/9/2020 7:28:00 AM

lol.. You are really a master of funny Limericks.. Thank you for the laugh..

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/9/2020 8:23:00 AM

Thanks Jenish, I do love humour, happy you enjoyed it. Tom

Pandita Sietesantos

Date: 2/7/2020 8:35:00 PM

Oh my goodness, this is such a clever, hilarious limerick! You had me in stitches, laughing so much, tears rolled down my cheeks! Hahahaha - excellent write - the imagery is incredibly funny! Thank you Tom for making me laugh! Hugs. Pandita

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/8/2020 6:09:00 AM

Thank you Pandita, happy you enjoyed it. Tom

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 2/7/2020 5:51:00 PM

Gross, sad, but funny Tom. This would be a great laugh after the fact, not during. xxoo

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/8/2020 6:08:00 AM

Haha it would Connie, wouldn't wish that on anyone. Tom

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 2/6/2020 5:54:00 PM

oh yuck, this would be utter embarrassment!! Keep up with those limericks, my friend.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/7/2020 3:39:00 AM

Thanks Andrea, another one today.

Heidi Sands

Date: 2/6/2020 12:41:00 PM

I agree, great advice. Written perfectly too :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/6/2020 2:09:00 PM

Thank you Heidi, bit of humour but wouldn't be funny in real life. Tom

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 2/6/2020 9:41:00 AM

Poor Fred indeed! The dreaded Shart, where you try and fart and Sh*t yourself instead. ;0)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/6/2020 10:42:00 AM

Haha love it, hope your well. Tom

Charles Messina

Date: 2/6/2020 5:57:00 AM

LOL, This is GREAT, Tom. One of the funniest I EVER read. I don't think you'll need much good luck wishes for the contest...a sure winner in my books. Best wishes. Charlie

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/6/2020 9:37:00 AM

Thanks Charlie, I just couldn't stop once I started, blame my muse. Too long for contest though. Glad you got a laugh out of it. Tom

Sandra Adams

Date: 2/5/2020 9:19:00 PM

lol glad I stopped by tonight to read, your limericks are always funny and good for a laugh or two.... wonderful penning Tom :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/6/2020 5:32:00 AM

Thank you Sandra, glad I gave you a laugh, was only going to write one and you know what it's like, you keep going while the muse keeps flowing. Tom

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 2/5/2020 2:04:00 PM

Amen! Tom, you offered good advice. I know better than to venture out when my colitis acts up. My heart goes out to poor Fred. Funny limerick! Hugs, Carolyn

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/5/2020 2:51:00 PM

Thanks Carolyn, happy you enjoyed it. Tom

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 2/5/2020 9:49:00 AM

So funny. Great write. I live your line, "Please stay in your bed Don't venture out if you're not feeling well." If sick people would stay home then the sickness would not get so bad for others. Have a wonderful day..........

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/5/2020 10:42:00 AM

Thanks Paula, glad you like it, amazes me how sick people crawl into work and spread their germs about, that coronovirus is worrying, I think it will get worse before it dies out. Tom

Paul Callus

Date: 2/5/2020 9:23:00 AM

Absolutely funny, Tom...and yet I feel sorry for poor Fred! Regards // paul

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/5/2020 10:40:00 AM

Thanks Paul, happy I gave you a laugh must say if it happened to me I wouldn't be laughing. Tom

Timothy Mcguire

Date: 2/5/2020 12:48:00 AM

made me laugh, good job

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/5/2020 1:54:00 AM

Thank you Timothy. Glad you enjoyed it. Tom

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 2/4/2020 6:44:00 PM

Hello Tom oh this is good advise for all of us. Oh poor Fred. have a nice evening my friend.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/5/2020 1:52:00 AM

Thank you Darlene, happy you enjoyed it. Tom

Gershon Wolf

Date: 2/4/2020 3:16:00 PM

Poor Fred shoulda stayed in bed, as you said. Chuckles, Tom. Thanks :) Gershon

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/4/2020 4:06:00 PM

Haha thanks Gershon, or at least stayed at home in case he had to make a dash. Tom

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 2/4/2020 2:42:00 PM

The Beethoven of Limericks strikes again with his Sympony of Limericks! Witty, humorous and...smelly that what happens when someone has problems with his belly . Laughed but thinking of the victims who I knew had that problem I just settled smiling dear Tom.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/4/2020 4:05:00 PM

Thank you Demetrios, if I had an upset stomach I certainly leave the house, why tempt fate lol. Tom